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#167988 - 12/17/08 06:50 PM
Re: dealing with on-line conflict
[Re: Dotsie]
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Member
Registered: 03/22/05
Posts: 4876
Loc: Canada
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Dotsie, you created a wonderful, warm, healing place...a Godsend to countless women, and there could never be enough words to speak adequately to the wondrous gift you have given to so many through BWS. That some have been hurt within the exchanges here is inevitable, unfortunately it's unavoidable when so many different personalities and cultures and ways of thinking come together. That doesn't negate or invalidate the wonder and gift that BWS is, in fact, to me it shows just how much we DO need this place and each other. We're always going to be evolving, learning, experiencing growing pains, stepping on someone's heart now and then. But the overall experience here, the overall environment here is GOOD and healing and wondrously life-giving.
As we continue to evolve, expectations have to evolve as well. This can never be "all things to all people", and you can't take on the responsibility for trying to make it that or for feeling responsible when it can't meet all of the needs of all of the people. The ownership for any unrealistic expectations lies squarely on each woman's shoulders and those who need more, will find it elsewhere, and those who understand will stay and continue to nurture and evolve this community.
Your years and hours have created a wondrous gift, Dotsie. Lives have changed, lives have been enriched, lives have been empowered, and lives have been saved because of BWS. Trust that, trust that even in the seemingly conflicted moments, God is still at work here, doing here what He had in mind when He whispered the vision in your ear. There is no doubt whatsoever that the Spirit moves within these hallowed cyberhalls.
_________________________
When you don't like a thing, change it. If you can't change it, change the way you think about it.
(Maya Angelou)
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#168032 - 12/17/08 10:45 PM
Re: dealing with on-line conflict
[Re: Dotsie]
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Registered: 08/12/08
Posts: 676
Loc: Wauconda, IL
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And I can't say it any better than Eagle Heart has, so I second her words Dotsie. You're a gift to so many and I'm grateful to have found such a wondrous place to share time with so many wondrous people.
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Love and light, hugs and blessings MamaRed (Jerilynne) www.mamaredspeaks.com www.onemillionacts.comComing Summer 2009 "Kick-Butt Kindness: 52 No Cost Ways to Ripple Kindness 'Round the World" Let's create Kick-Butt-and-Take-Names Lives!
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#168039 - 12/18/08 04:05 AM
Re: dealing with on-line conflict
[Re: Dotsie]
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Registered: 11/19/08
Posts: 1758
Loc: American living in Germany
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DJ you asked a good question: …one of the things I'm really really curious about is whether this community feels as "real" or more "real" than the community outside your doors. I feel this community is as real as the life right outside of my door. I think of you ladies even when I'm not posting. You are all a big part of my daily life. It amazes myself how often I'm on the thread, and prefer reading all your posts, over reading some women's magazine or watching TV. You are all very real and dear to me. And I for one, get a heck lot more out of communicating with you, then just sitting in front of a television set. Yesterday while wrapping my Christmas gifts I was listening to the radio station that Dotsie once posted. I thought, I would never have found this music myself. You ladies have enriched my life in so many ways. When I'm down, you have pulled me up. You rejoice with me, and vent with me. Of course there are issues that I haven't agreed with. And I have to admit, sometimes I shook my head in disbelief,…but I got over it…and the pros always outweighed the cons. Nothing is perfect. And I think that is a part of becoming older and wiser; not to expect perfection. Many a time I have posted, and no one has responded. That happens to all of us. I think it's really therapeutic just to vent, write poems, tell jokes, complain, express our sympathies, and do all this…without any expectations or taking it personally if no one responds. MA, I'm so sorry to hear about your husband's accident. Please don't carry your concerns by yourself. Share your worries and thoughts with us. It truly helps ease the burden. And we truly care. Humlan, I know you had an intense time with Lady Jane and Di. I miss their presence too…but the rest of us chickens are here for you. You are going through so much right now, it's overwhelming. All I can say is share share and share…one of us will respond, and maybe help you lighten your path.
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As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live. Goethe
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#168174 - 12/19/08 07:55 AM
Re: dealing with on-line conflict
[Re: Edelweiss3]
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Registered: 08/22/07
Posts: 1761
Loc: Southern Maine, USA
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And I really am here. There are times I have about 10 minutes in the wee hours of the morning to peruse the postings but so much on my mind to get into my day. When I have some time, as I have this morning, I try to come back and post. I'm forever here because I love it. I have "met" some true genuine, beautiful souls and it would be a horrible loss to give it up. Dotsie has created a warm place here. If some choose to make it a constant debate, then so be it. As Eagleheart said, this responsibility lies on the shoulders of each woman here. We can choose where to post and what to join in on. I'm here for friendship and fun. My life is too intense to want to take it all here! When one is busy and giving there will be little time to focus on the negative in an online forum...my opinion, of course. BWS is my wonderful outlet and will remain so!
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If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane ~ Jimmy Buffett
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#168256 - 12/19/08 03:45 PM
Re: dealing with on-line conflict
[Re: ladyjane]
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Registered: 04/15/07
Posts: 2411
Loc: Arizona
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Dotsie, you HAVE created a great forum here. I feel the latest posts that have some current events in them are just a sign of the forum growing to add some people who have thoughts in that direction. I am NOT saying that this should be a site for debate, not at all. However, if we do not debate on one or two threads, we do not learn and do not grow! We have much to learn from one another and it does not always take place in the "tea party," setting. The women here are all dear, even those who participate in debate threads, they are just being themselves. Some live in the here and now, as DJ does with what she teaches at her school. She cannot be a Media professor and be uninformed as to the current events going on in our world. I feel that no one wants to hurt anyone here. The women are kind and yes, I remember when each thread was supportive in it's facade, but there were still clashes. There will always be clashes. I was hurt the worst when the forum was in this "support mode," myself!
My statement stands: This is an excellent site which I believe is going through growing pains. Good will win out. Dotsie, you are a good person and like me, maybe harsh words hurt your eyes, I know they do mine. However, we can stay away from threads that make us emotional and understand that those who for some reason need to stay current should be allowed to.
This has nothing to do with this thread of course. I just thought it was time to say what I felt.
Dancer
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