I don't know exactly when it happened or why or how, but I think I've found my Christmas spark again! It snuck up on me. Maybe it was changing everything around to create the Christmas that I've been yearning for for years. I couldn't change it before because my family was so steeped in the old traditions that it would have caused too much friction and, I admit, I loved Gary so much that I would have done ANYTHING for him, including protecting his vision and version of Christmas.

Now, though I'd give anything and everything to have him back, the reality is that Christmas is a blank slate for us, and we've decided to change the focus to suit our vision. Somehow, making that happen has brought that spark of Christmas joy back to my heart.

I love how these little sparks of joy are beginning to poke through the grief, and I love how resilient the human spirit is - and how the caring kindness of others plays such a huge part in loving us back to life.


Edited by Eagle Heart (12/04/08 10:56 AM)
_________________________
When you don't like a thing, change it.
If you can't change it, change the way you think about it.

(Maya Angelou)