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#165229 - 11/10/08 04:54 PM
Re: Have we forgotten real purpose of this for
[Re: chickadee]
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Member
Registered: 01/16/07
Posts: 3404
Loc: USA
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Once upon a time two friends, who lived on adjoining farms, fell into conflict. It was a serious rift after many years of farming side by side, sharing machinery, and trading labor and goods as needed without a hitch. The long collaboration fell apart, beginning with a small misunderstanding, which grew into a major difference, and finally it exploded into an exchange of bitter words.
One morning there was a knock on one of their doors and when it was opened, there stood a man with a carpenter’s toolbox. “I’m looking for a few days work” he said.
“Yes, I do have a job for you. Look across the creek at that farm. Last week there was a meadow between us and he took his bulldozer to the river levee and now there is a creek between us. Well, he may have done this to spite me, but I’ll do him one better. I want you to take the lumber by my barn and build me a fence, an 8-foot fence, so I won’t have to see his place, anymore.”
The carpenter said, “I think I understand the situation. Show me the nails and the post hole digger and I’ll do a job that pleases you.”
After the two collected all that was needed, the carpenter started to work, measuring, sawing, nailing, and hammering. While he was working, the farmer decided to go into town to run a day's worth of errands. About sunset, he returned to find that the carpenter had just finished the job. The farmer, his eyes wide open and his jaw dropped, found there was no fence at all. Instead, there stood a bridge - a bridge stretching from one side of the creek to the other! A fine piece of work handrails and all — and the neighbor was coming across, his hand outstretched. “You are quite a fellow to build this bridge after all we’ve said and done.” The two stood at either end of the bridge, and then they met in the middle, taking each other’s hand. They turned in time to see the carpenter hoist his toolbox on his shoulder.
[“No, wait! Stay. I have other projects for you,” “I’d love to,” the carpenter said, “but, I have many more bridges to build.”]
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#165238 - 11/10/08 06:19 PM
Re: Have we forgotten real purpose of this for
[Re: gims]
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The Divine Ms M
Registered: 07/07/03
Posts: 4894
Loc: Orange County, California
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for the past 6 weeks, I've been working upwards of 70+ hours per week. I keep an open window on my computer for BWS but have hardly been here. I manage to do a quick blitz through 2 or 3 topics during lunch, and a few more late at night. I've responded briefly to a few posts but haven't had the luxury to say much in depth. To those of you who pm'ed me during this month, I've given whatever time I could.
To everyone else: my silence on this topic has been due neither to lack of interest nor lack of opinions, and certainly not from fear of confrontation.
Until 1 hour ago, I didn't know this topic was here.
Dancing Dolphin, thank you for bringing this into the open. Mountain Ash, thank you for your well-thought-out list of types of conflict and confrontation. Everyone else, thank you for your varying shades of input. I don't want to get into specific analysis of comments as Dotsie said this thread will be closed at the end of the day. However, the concerns of everyone are valid.
I will say: this has happened here before, in different ways. In life, as in BWS, individuals will come here with different agendas. Most are loving and supportive -- but some come to disrupt, some to gain power cliques, some to proselytize, some to sell, and some are just screwed up. Over the years, I've gotten more than a few emails from people who quit in disgust "because..."
In a public forum like this, there is no one clear way to keep out the negative element. We can debate them, we can ignore them -- sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. And sometimes shades of gray become darker or lighter, and we can't see the process until it's fait accompli.
My sincerest love to all who weather the storm.
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#165253 - 11/10/08 07:53 PM
Re: Have we forgotten real purpose of this for
[Re: meredithbead]
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Registered: 11/04/08
Posts: 601
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Regarding the importance of expressing views like the ones that started this thread, I have never understood posts like these to imply that this issue -- and I have seen it in various forms on other boards --was more important than anything else. This isn't a competition; people know that others are suffering or worried. It's just an issue that some people felt was important to discuss.
By this reasoning, no one should ever post anything personal or painful because there is always someone somewhere else who has it worse. Every single post would earn the 'well, that's not so bad; I know someone a lot worse off than you' rejoinder, which I can't imagine anyone really wants. That would shut down all discussion boards. We can't cure world hunger or cancer. Sometimes people have deep things to say, sometimes they have silly things to say, and sometimes they have different viewpoints. People can, though, discuss, debate, and engage each other with respect -- which was what I understood this to be about. No more and no less.
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