We should observe the overall spirit of online community learning and support when members need it. Perhaps if we just remember we are an online community (well, I haven't met any of you in person yet). The problem is whether this online community, is willing expand its dialogue to include more women who might have quite different life experiences.

We are grown women and should not feel overly constrained from even talking about certain, albeit highly-charged topics. I would hate to think this forum became a tea-party where we delicately talked around "sensitive" topics. That keeps us from learning of other people's perspectives and life experiences.

That said, learning within an Internet forum, can become abit insular also and limited without seeing non-verbal gestures of each other. So we have to go about our lives outside this forum and even disappear for awhile.

Chatty, I tend to agree with you. And Orchid, I also think this place would be boring if it were just a tea party..

A political discussion will always be about differences. If you join such a discussion, then we are old enough to realize that, and not take anything personally. At least I don’t.

I too have received emails from members that want to leave the forum, because they don’t care for such discussions. The big difference I see in this site, between now and, let’s say 6 months ago, is that people aren’t reacting to other threads as much.

For example, our poetry thread. Those that participate are having a ball, but those that don’t participate don’t even bother to make a single positive comment on all our efforts. I am surprised that Dotsie has never said anything. I mean there are some excellent poets among us!

To help maintain this forum, I think members have to participate in more threads. I know it is a time issue, but I spend 20 minutes in the morning, 20 minutes in the evening, and usually have hit on all the open threads. It’s a give and take participation.

Okay, and another thing that I am sure won’t be too popular amongst many of you, and that is; - I don’t care for the sales thread at all. I don’t think it should be part of a forum. We are bombarded enough with sales pitches the entire day from all other media. I get the impression that some of you are only here to sell, and aren’t interested in anything else. I think since the sales thread was added to the site, the participation has gone down in other threads.

Still, I send a virtual hug to my online friends. You are an important part of my daily life. And just like in real life, it is important to have a healthy balance of gripes, praises, sympathy, critique and humour to share with one another.

I contacted EW due to NOT the political discussions because she is someone I trust and certainly respect.

My concerns were how posters were being in my own words..less than respectful to others.

I have said being a UK citizen I could not discuss the election with any credibility not knowing enough to so so.I did feel I could learn from what women said and so read these discussions.

the economy concerns all...the world wide situation.

I am not here for a "tea party"
I hoped to share memories dreams and wishes with others and
enjoy frienship

I have long been involved locally and nationally in UK politics.
Worked hard to select and sent sucessful candidates to Parliament.
This week this has been achieved due to a by election...a good man will represent my area in The House of Commons.

The political becomes personal.. passionate and part of identity.
But the people I mix with are respectful to others such is our ethos.
Mountain ash

I think that's the answer too, Edelweiss. Some of our members choose not to wade into topics that are too emotionally-charged and some, like me, simply don't want to risk being slammed against the wall (it's happened and yes, it HAS hurt!) for merely voicing personal perspectives. That doesn't mean we want tea-parties (though we've had some hilarious tea-parties in the past, haven't we?), but some do prefer safer ground and sometimes would enjoy lighter conversations. But for the past while, "safe ground" just hasn't been an option, because most discussions have been centered around the election. Other threads and other topics have come - and gone - unnoticed. And some of the quieter members have slipped away - unnoticed - as well.

I'd like to invite those other "quiet voices" to come back and participate in other topics that are less emotionally charged. And while I think we all enjoy learning from each other and welcome all perspectives on all topics, I'd like to suggest that we leave the aggressive hostility of the election discussions there in those threads and re-establish safer ground for other discussions to take place.

From reading all these posts, it seems that everyone comes here for different reasons. Since the site has grown, there are more voices. Unfortunately, and fortunately, I think what we're feeling is growing pains.

As founder, I can't stay on top of it like I once did. I rarely go in the pet forum. I've hardly read any of the poems because I really can't take time to write poetry (I'm too busy putting out fires) while I'm here because I'm busy tending to other forums, and I believe the poetry forum is running itself.

I can only do so much. I've considered paying people to monitor forums, but quite honestly, everyone has a different opinion - would question posts, and then I'd be hearing from all the moderators too. Sorry, but I won't do that.

My best suggestion is that if there's a forum you don't like, then don't go there. In the past few months, I've heard women don't like the current event forum, the mental illness forum, recommended links, for sale, or the political forum. So, should I just get rid of all of them? I think not, because other people like them.

Just visit all the other uplifting forums. And if you like discussing politics or current events then post in those forums, but post kindly without attacks, remembering the site was launched to connect, encourage and support one another.

DD, thanks for starting this post. It's interesting to hear what everyone has to say.

Dotsie tries well to keep us going without intruding much. I'm grateful for her efforts.

I don't overspend my time here since I do participate in another women-based forum that does surprisingly include alot of women over 40 yrs. old....but it's exclusively on cycling. That forum is run by a woman who has her own business devoted to cycling wear and equipment for women. We rarely hear from her at all. She's probably way too busy dealing with her business ...all mail-order worldwide..since cycling wear for women and choice is problematic in some parts of the country, etc.

We have different topics. Most women there do not pitch their businesses (if they run businesses). There is a sales forum...more an open thread to post used cycling wear/equipment. Occasionally leads to stuff on ebay. Based on the threads that I did see recently on politics, there were alot of Democrat leaning women there. Many of these women do have children and hold down jobs also....plus cycle. Only a smaller handful seem to be grandmothers. However some don't even discuss their children hardly at all. They are on that forum for a particular reason.

Unlike this forum, I have already met several different women there face to face (from Seattle and Vancouver area). The group seems to draw more non-Americans also...meaning there is a higher percentage of non-U.S. participation.

I must admit that in this forum recently of people referring to information sources off of YouTube and other some (not all) alternative sources that I've never heard of....and would never consider as single source reliable if I had to submit a paper to be graded for a credit course.

Or pretend this way, if you were a judge to write a court ruling and reference sources, and that court decision was going to stay on record for the next 100 years (which most court cases do), would you reference that source as reliable evidence?

To me personally, it's been interesting just observing..levels of information literacy and how influential the Internet can be with the "grey"/shadow information sources.

I can't imagine being a grade school or high school teacher these days..

By the way, our personal experiences, are valid evidence. It's just useful to frame it within a much broader context at times after some time for personal reflection...which for a group of boomer women we've had ample time to reflect. That is our strongest advantage.

Thanks Orchid, and others, for your thoughts. I actually found this forum because I wanted to sell to Boomer women - back before I sold my online wicking sleepwear store. Once here, I found many friends and totally enjoyed the peacefulness and friendship I discovered.

It's true that people come to the forum for different reasons, and I come here to relax, visit with friends, offer support, etc. I normally try to stay out of political discussions (not just here, but everywhere), but I believe I was drawn in when I saw things like the bogus YouTube videos or other obviously false content and felt the need to defend my choice of candidates and tried to share reliable information. It was difficult with all the media slant, in both directions.

I'm also someone who doesn't enjoy arguing, so when I see what I perceive as arguing, I guess I think it's bad. But maybe some people thrive on that exchange of ideas, no matter how heated it gets. I'm not one of those people - I always tend to try to calm things down, which was the original reason for my post.

I must thank you DD for expressing your feelings..it allowed me to agree with you.

Mountain ash

Orchid,
I agree with your first post on this thread. I was not aware that some areas of the forum were not to be used and debate was discouraged when I came here.
I come here for intellecual stimulation and to make friends, yes, but also to learn from others differences.
I am a world traveler. I welcome differences of opinion given in a kind and informative way.
If this were a "Tea Party," it would not be a site for me. I can't imagine going through life avoiding the tough things to deal with. I want to feel alive in love and in thought!

I thought we did very well in an election as charged as this one was. I even think that those who did not agree with me did a great job trying to stay in the facts and sparring with good anture. I know I meant my sparring to be good natured.

Now that I am proud of this forum for being in 2008, some people don't like that?

To each his own, as we say and I will take it from here to see if it remains my type of forum.

Dotsie, I was considering joining your group after the political discussion because it allowed for such spirited debate.
Again, to each their own!

Dancer9