I am dismayed to see the direction so many posts on this forum have taken. As a member for almost 3 years, I joined this forum for the networking, support, and friendship of all of you women. I have found that and am thrilled.

But lately, since the beginning of this election process and the major crunch of our economy, I see MANY posts with arguments, name calling, attacks, etc.

If you're wondering if it's YOU I'm talking about, then maybe it is. You'll know if you're involved in all the snipping and constant back and forth going on. And you know what, free speech is good and all that, but I honestly feel like this forum is NOT the place for it.

There are many places online where you can go to discuss/argue or whatever you want to do, about politics, the economy, race, etc. In my opinion, this forum is for sharing, caring, networking, and support. And while some of that is still happening, I don't see nearly as much of it - I see more and more of the angry bantering.

Is anyone else feeling this way, or am I alone in my thoughts?

K

Dancing Dolphin,
I've been feeling the difference here for awhile. Before we left on our trip, I was often in tears after coming here. And instead of coming in joyful anticipation (remember the days when we could hardly wait to log on in the mornings?!) I began to dread what I would find here...and began to withdraw from participating out of fear of yet again stepping on someone's sensitivities and/or getting bashed for voicing an opinion that dared to differ from someone else's. It just isn't the safe, supportive, encouraging, caring place it was, should and can be.

I'm here for the long haul, because I believe in this community and believe that the good and the caring will survive and thrive again. But it has been painful to watch people diminishing each other. And just too daunting and frightening for many of us who don't have the courage to put ourselves in the line of fire.

You're definitely not alone - I thought I was alone in thinking these things - I'm glad someone else has noticed.

You are not alone. I love this place, but have not found it a fun place to be lately. I have too much going on in life to hang out in a place that makes me feel uncomfortable.

Hopefully, now that the election is over, we can make peace with each other once again, and feel safe with expressing our opinions.

I miss my home away from home.

I have no intention of leaving - I know the goodness that I sought is still here.

So what to do? Maybe we can ALL avoid the political forum, and get back to basics, like posting about the positive things in this world or how we can make it more positive, instead of being so negative.

I think I will just totally stay out of any topic that is or becomes negative and try very hard to start new topics that are more helpful. Of course we can't be positive all the time; we all have our issues, but it's the arguing about things that is such a drag on this forum.

I love the 'sharing thoughts' we can have, WITHOUT constantly trying to prove our point is the only way to look at things. I'll think I'll go post somethine new now!

You are not alone

Mountain ash

These ten games that are regularly played out
You may recognize one, two or maybe all of them:

1. The Occupation game
In this games, your mark out your territory, such as putting your name on everything or grabbing intellectual leadership in a defined area. You then act vigorously to defend your territory, patrolling the borders and guarding the gates. A tiger response to attacks will put off other possible attackers. You can also spend time looking for other areas to occupy.

2. The Information-manipulation game
As a manager of information, you first hoard it (not sharing it), for example by gaining expertise in areas that may be of value in the future. You can also gain control of the gateways to that information. When you hold the keys, you can also bluff that you know more than you actually do. The key here is always to use information whilst giving away as little as possible. Information is power, and an information manipulator uses it in any and every way possible. If other people use information against you, you seek to discredit both the person and their information.

3. The Intimidation game
In this game, the objective never to fight by showing how dangerous you can be. Using such tools as sarcasm and cynicism can make you a feared opponent. You may well want to build your reputation as a dragon-slayer. Just a threat from you is enough to make most people back down.

4. The Powerful-alliances game
If you do not have power yourself, you can find it in other people. Wheedle you way into powerful circles, ingratiate yourself to the bosses. Build networks you can call on in times of need. This can even be done with nasty tricks such as blackmail and bribery.

5. The Invisible-wall game
Building invisible walls around your territory makes it difficult for people to find their way in and attack you. Mazes and false pathways help them to get lost, tired and dispirited. You can then be kind and show them the way out.

6. The Strategic-non-compliance game
When you cannot easily refuse, then the simple response is to say yes then to delay and diminish your delivery. Make excuses, do the wrong thing or become unavailable. You can even band together with others to say 'no' in a collaborative voice (this is what Trade Unions can do).

7. The Discredit game
When others have power, you can drain it away by discrediting them. You can find their dark secrets or even create them with seductive traps, then expose them - it's called 'entrapment'. Be careful to stay clean yourself, getting others to do your dirty work and using 'humour' and 'truth' to deflect pointed fingers.

8. The Shunning game
This is the classic game of ostracizing people, 'sending them to Coventry' or a host of other ways of casting them out socially. This is a severe punishment for social beings. It can also be done in small ways, such as avoiding eye contact or being 'unavailable'.

9. The Camouflage game
This game is about distracting and confusing them to keep them away from your position. It is like the Invisible Wall game but played at a greater distance, hiding yourself before they even come close.

10. The Filibuster game
This is the game played by politicians everywhere, as they grab the talking-stick and then keep talking until there is no time left for anyone else to say anything. It can be a fine delaying tactic if this is necessary.


The big question is what you can do about these games if you are on the receiving end.

Refuse to play the game: It takes two to tango, and if you (and others) won't play they may have to give up.

Name the game: Exposure, so everyone knows the game, is a great way of neutralizing tricksters.

Change the game: Taking control yourself allows you to reframe and redirect the energy of the situation.

Mountain ash

I agree. However, you accused me of the below without considering my thoughts or feelings – that it was a typo, and not knowing the person behind the words. I did not feel I needed an explanation – I see many typos or unexplained thoughts typed on these forums.

Actually, you attacked.

“Obama BinLiden? Why the rude terrorist reference? Honestly, that just comes across as hostile and seems very unnecessary in polite forum discussions.

You imply that Obama and/or Biden threw these people out onto the street. They had nothing to do with that.”

Calling the kettle black.

Sorry Mustang Gal, not going to bite.

Maybe I'm dense or something but I haven't seen any real bickering or maybe, just have ignored it, not sure.

It is sad to me when anyones feelings are hurt because they dared to give their opinion on a subject. Isn't that what free speech is about?

None of us could have changed one single thing regarding the election, especially now so why get our panties in a knot about it? Whatever happens is going to happen to us 'ALL,' no matter what our political affiliation's are.

Now, sometime back I did get an email asking me whats with all the snipping and evilness going on in the forum? My answer was "who cares," or something like that. Because I was in the dark as to their reference. So, okay I must be dense!!!