I wasn't speaking to anyone in particular. Just an open statement! But I am amazed by the fact that some of you have chosen to dwell on only three little words I used in a 'lengthy' post, and 'ignore' the entire rest of my message.

I am shocked to say the least. Saying 'GET A GRIP' is NOT meant in a mean or disrespectful way especially when some here are dear friends to me and I have gone out of my way to be kind to them above and beyonfd this forum...

But when I see posts from some that are almost silly, not kind and even disrepectful, I will always say, get a grip, and by that I mean, our world as we know it is falling down around our ears and if we don't get a grip on it soon, we are going to possibly reach a point of no return.

Here in Casino (money) Land alone, 180,000 people have lost their jobs, and there are none to replace them.

We have a new president elect that 'NO ONE' really knows, nor what will happen under his watch. We can only wait and see.

Half the world hates us and wants to destroy us and what we stand for, and our sons and daughters are right now, in foreigh lands fighting and dying for our freedoms, and free speech is one of those freedoms.

Our friends and familys are getting older and dying around us, we are getting older and it may be our turn sooner rather than later.

So my dear, dear ladies if all you have to be concerned about are a FEW unsettling posts, than you really do need to GET A GRIP... NOT meant as a slap in the face to ANYONE either, just my way of sending a reminder that we have "far worse" things to worry about than a few ruffled feathers.

I hope we are not losing our humanity to replace it with selfishness. I have said my peace and you can all tell me off if you must, I do have big shoulders and many of you have learned when coming to me privately with a problem you want to talk about. Maybe all this time the love I felt has been all one-sided, me to you!

Personally and from my heart, I love you all, have for years now and that will never change no matter what is said or done.

One more thing, when out and about take a look around you, notice that people are shorter with one another, grumpier than usual? More road rage going on, and couples snapping at each other and the kids. NO hope for a new job or where are their unemployment benefits and why is it taking so long, and will their employer contest them? How will they live, pay the mortgage, eat, and God forbid someone gets sick. I have never seen anything like this and I am over 60, and scared as hell for myself and everyone else.

A friend from over the pond sent me an email yesterday telling me she had to watch a collegue from work that she ate lunch with everyday for ten years, pack up her desk as her job was discontinued because of the economy. Now the sender of the email didn't lose her job but was devasted for her friend. Do you see now what I mean by those apparently thought to be confrontational words, Get A Grip...Think about it, its sound advice!!!!!!!!!! I need a drink!

Maybe it's because the world is falling down all around us that we yearn for the sanctuary that this place - and being with each other - used to be...it's okay that we provide an oasis from the storm, if even only in a few forums where we can get away from it all for a few moments and talk about other stuff.

Can I just say that the reason I'm hanging in with this thread - and bearing the brunt of the repercussions - is because I'm receiving DOZENS of PM's and emails from women who have been seriously verbally battered here. If it were just a few ruffled feathers here and there, it would not warrant this discussion and I, being the wimp I admit to being, would not involve myself to the extent of putting myself in the line of fire like this. The concern and damage goes far beyond a few hurt feelings; my involvement in this thread is an UNselfish attempt to re-enkindle some measure of safe sanctuary somewhere within these cyber-halls for those women who need the support and caring encouragement that BWS has provided in the past. Again, all of this is an effort to honour, support and plead for Dotsie's vision of this place being a safe place for ALL women to connect, support and encourage one another.

Chatty, I for one will NEVER forget the kindness and love you have shown to me throughout the years - you know how richly you have touched and blessed my life and heart. You have one of the biggest kindest hearts I've ever known, and it still brings tears to my eyes to remember how kind and generous you were to my dying brother. I will always love you and treasure your friendship.

Chatty..you don´t get it..what I am trying to say. For goodness sake..you KNOW that I have alot going on..and JUST FOR THAT REASON I would like to be able to come here..I am hoping to be able to do so..

No ruffled feathers here..just want to come home to peace and quiet..to a supportive, caring, creative group of woman..or something to that effect..isn´t that the thought behind this place?

I don´t know..maybe it´s me that´s not getting it..that´s a real possiblility..

And you´re very correct in saying that there is soo much going on around us..or even within our families..but that´s the EXACT reason why I looong for something that is getting lost here..

But you´re right..that´s only me..and then there are the rest of all the women here that have their needs and thoughts..

And now I am going in circles..probably because it´s 1:30am here and I gotta work tomorrow...

I guess we all just have to make our own decision where we want to be or not..I mean that´s what life is all about it, isn´t? And sometimes we don´t even have the luxury of that choice either.

Good nite, then..from Sweden..signing out. Hej då!!!

You're a doll Humlan, and I understand perfectly about us all having our own problems to live with and sometimes its like a hell on earth...

I too come here to find comfort, strength and to hopefully be among those who care about me for whatever reason. Does anyone here think my life is a picnic, free from stress and sorrow and insanity, if so, you'd be oh so wrong!

Point: Remember when I posted a month or so ago that my ex, the one I HATE, showed up on my doorstep with one eye totally blood red, swollen and the other one not much better? He had suffered a stroke from what the doctor later said. Anyway he came crawling to me because he couldn't do for himself and has NO ONE, his family's all dead. So I took him in and cared for his needs. He was suppose to be leaving bag and baggage when his entire department at work was terminated, he's a collector and NO one is paying those old already written off bills. So now here he sits, watching TV all day, no money coming in yet, as his unemployment hasn't been approved yet, if ever.

So he is once again living off of me, eating my food, making messes for me to clean up and I am ready to commit suicide, or maybe murder, not knowing how long he will have to be here. I know I should throw him out, I wantr to so bsd but how do I do that? The guy he was sharing an apartment with moved back to Philadelphia and dropped all the jackass's things in my driveway.

We all have troubles above and beyond the worlds situation. I am speechless, and have about had it now with this "me, me" mindset, trying to explain something no one really wants to understand, so all of you just do whatever you want to do, stay, go, its not my problem, I no longer give a dam!!!!

Chatty..We live over the pond..as you know..and my partner´s place of work is now suffering the ugly head of "downsizing" and saving money. So his job is now not half as pleasant as it has been for the past few years..people will have to go..they will have to make do with less staff for all the children they care for each day..because there is, of course, no downsizing of the amount of children and work that the staff carries.

His close friend has already had to find another job..and there are more to come.Perhaps not my partner specifically..as just his qualifications are sorely needed here. But if the job load becomes too much..he may have to go anyway..and find something else to do.

Chatty..life on the outside affects us all..surely you realize that? We are all in this world together..for better for for worse. There is much anguish..and harsh behavior as a result of this..and we all feel this directly or indirectly. We can´t help but do that. So..where do we go to breath out or breathe at all??? I know..this is different for each and everyone of us..I know.

But, Chatty..there are some very beautiful things going on in this world of ours too..quiet small things..done in quiet and silence. Someone who gives you a pat on your shoulder..someone who asks you how you are because your eyes look tired..a child that runs up to you and gives you a hug good-by for the week-end because he has felt that you are sad..some music that brings tears to your eyes..tears that are mixed with sadess and a kind of joy. It´s all there,too, Chatty.

Ok..once again..signing off from Sweden at 2:10 am..Good nite. Hej då!!!

This is actually what the ladies (and I) were rightly offended by:


I won't sit here and now watch those same ladies be guilted into backing down from their feelings about your post. You deflected any blame for hurt feelings away from yourself with the "world is a mess" response, and then turned your next post into a "me-me-me" response.

There was discussion of feelings going on here, people being open and very vulnerable in expressing those feelings. It should not have been shut down in this way.

So Mij, do you speak for the rest of the women here?

Chatty has removed herself from this topic...have at it!

Chatty..did you delete your last post? Can´t find it now and as a result can´t find what I started writing as a reply..no great loss of my reply anyway

I would have never started in on "me" "me"..if I had found your post first.

But I do respect your senitments there..and I still give a damn. Because there is alot of beauty and kindness to find in this world of ours..on a tiny day to day scale..in quiet..in the silence of a special touch on your shoulder..a question of how are you, spoken by someone who sees how tired you are. Or a hug from a child because he has felt your sadness..and especially wants to say good-by for the week-nd, which he normally doesn´t do. Or some music that brings tears of sadness..but also of some sort of joy to your eyes..

It´s all there ,too, Chatty, don´t you think?

You yourself have been kind to me during difficult moments in a tangible way..your package with tabletts that can perk me up..

Ihope things work out for you..remember that he is a grown man..and can and should..pick up his own pieces..one way or another..I won´t expound..as the post is gone. Good luck, Chatty..it´s not always easy to draw the line..but sometimes it is needed for both parties..don´t you think?

Good nite again then for the 50th time ..from Sweden..signing off..no time info given this time Hej då, my friend..Good nite!


all my love,
humlan

I don´t want to have at it..at you or anyone else on this forum. I want you to come back..we need your clear and concise and sincere voice. You KNOW that!!!

I am muddling around my apartment, so I can probably go to bed and believe in some sleep for me. That´s a good thing!

over and out..from Sweden

Nope Humlan, I haven't deleted anything and won't either. I stand by every word I wrote. I am just tired now of beating a dead horse, so to speak! Sorry I got involved at all and tried
to be the voice of reason, won't make that mistake again...

Say lady I thought you had to get up early tomorrow, you are going to be soooo tired.