As some here know, I have an injured spinal cord.
I had my exam yesterday and my latest information is not so fun for me.
I am told that my spinal cord is still sending "irregular" signals so my body is still affected by the injury. My nerves have not bypassed the injury.
Since my injury to the cord is so high, (C5-C6, for those who know,) it is affecting my whole body.
I will always, it seems, have not a lot of use of my left arm, esp. the thumb and forefinger, despite all my therapy and work.
I will still not be able to sit or stand for more than 30 min. without a break, maybe an even shorter time...
I will still tire easily which in my case means that I have one day that I am able to do things and I must rest the second day, even if it is a dinner out!
I can only work out and dance for twenty min. every other day and it won't change.
I have other areas that are affected by the cord malfunction as well that I will not mention.
I will always need pain meds.
I have waited the maximum time for recovery and for "rewiring," to take place so this is unlikely to change for me.
I am sad about this and trying to plan my life with these limitations to deal with. I am still in my forties so this is a blow.
Philip, my husband, is taking it much better than I, believe it or not. He feels that like any older athlete, my body is just beat up and I need to slow down.
If I forget to stand, after sitting for a bit, I am in pain and need meds. If I forget to sit after standing for too long, the same occurs.
I need a bit of a new life. Although I am experienced in production, the effort is so intense, (see " All that Jazz,") I don't know if I will proceed.
I still have my photography and my interest so far as subjects does not require me to move about a lot and run and chase.
I just needed to put it out there...
Dancer, still dancing if only for 20 min.

DJ, some of your symptoms are shared by many of us who are aging.
Regardless, I pray that you recover in every way, as I pray for your belief that full recovery is possible.

that should have read D9

Dancer

Thanks for sharing where you are in your journey. I'm so sorry about the results from your doctor's visit today and am sending many prayers of love, light, strength and healing your way.

Have you heard of a healing modality called "The Reconnection"? I hadn't until I was doing Soul Alignment Coaching with Karen Curry yesterday and she introduced me to it. For some reason, I felt it was something to share with you too. I have *no* idea whether you want to look into it or not and here is the website address if you do: www.thereconnection.com.

I don't know much more than what I've read and I'll know more on a personal level in the next couple of weeks since I have scheduled sessions with a local provider.

Peace and love sweetie...know there are many pulling for your and your wellness!

Thank you, Gims. And Mama Red, thank you for the reference.
I am still in a state of trying to accept my limitations and plan a life around them.

I might give your suggestion a try.

I had been waiting for a last word and this doctor is one of the best in his field; one who testifies in court and such.

His last words to me:
"They operated soon enough to save your life, but not your arm and not soon enough to stop the pain."

Nice news.

Truthfully, it crushes me. I, as I said, am still reacting.
I am disabled, it is not about age and most people I know that are older than me can sit for more than 20 min.

I will not let this stop me, to be sure. I will find a way to be myself, I have overcome a lot in my life, and am proud of my career. I know I will overcome this.

However, I think I need some support.

Dancer9

I'm so sorry you've received bad news, Dancer. I do believe you when you say you will overcome this. You are a strong spirited woman, and you are full of determination and tenacity, so you will persevere.

I've always wanted to invest some time in learning photography. I think it would be a great hobby, and even more.

God's speed on your recovery AND you plan for your life!

Edelweiss and Queen, thank you. I hope you are right and that my positive speech will work on my psyche.

I can't get the information out of my mind so I know that inside I am working on acceptance. Once I can accept, I know I can make a plan.

A whole life, since the age of 5 in one thing is hard to quit. I don't know if I can completely quit singing or dancing, but I will never be able to do a whole concert again, I fear, unless I use a chair onstage.

The hardest thing for me is to allow the public to know what has happened and I have hidden it until now. Since I hid it, I put myself in more pain than I would have had.
I will have to accept it and then make it public.

I have been in the public my entire life and still work part time with production. This will be hard to share, and to live as a reality.

Just musings, thank you,
Dancer

Meridith
as always your wise words.
Transition.
I was a busy active vibrant person..then after fifty..several issues.
It takes took and a kind of deep healing to accept the new person I became.
No one will do this in the same way.Your career has been unique dancer lasting since you were a child.
Telling people...you will do this again in your own way.
What I did not like was the sympathy shown after I had an incident at school when I was kicked..dont know where the thought came from but I felt so low.
Many people dont know what to say..so have said the wrong thing..like "Hope you kicked the boy back" etc.Removing the issue into a way of speaking I hated.That was their embarassment and where they were at in their maturity.
Best that worked for me was simple acceptance that an incident had happened.Then saying as little as possible and finding a new path in life.For me a different job.
Not easy to change.I need some help now and then.But I have worked out my strategy.
Your strategy is unfolding.I did not have a "Public" like you.But I had a circle who knew me and my capabilities.I still have a circle who love me for who I am now.

Since I had this issue..I have lost friends to death..others have circumstances changed due to aging..their spouse dying and children dying.Everyone has their own cross to bear.So looking outward.and Yes look back with love at the person your talent allowed you to be.You DID IT. We all "plough our own furrow" comes to mind.A saying from Scotland.
You will manage..I know this.
Mountain ash