Thanks, Dotsie...You are right...At this stage of the game, we do care less of what others think and more of what it is we care to to pursue. I have found this to be true, not only in the arena of relationships, but also with my Art. Once I just started doing what I wanted to do, not wanting approval from others, it became hugely successful.
Love
Patty

Thanks for the uplifting message, Mustang! At this point, I'm just enjoying the contentment, which is a rare thing in the history of my life.
Oh, and the advanced the degree gave me a good teacher pay raise. So, that is the best way I'm putting it to use.
Love
Patty

Doctor Karen,
It is heartwarming, that after such a long time single, almost giving up, you have found someone with whom you are experiencing happiness, albeit long distance. And, I agree with you, that that has its benefits....giving you the time and freedom along with the anticipation of quality time together.
I've experienced the Internet dating scene, for longer than I should have. Now, I'm not inclined to approach it. In most cases, anyone can APPEAR to be anything and everything, but most likely, it is like putting a hook in the ocean and pulling who knows what kind of monster out. At least, that was my exp.
There is someone here locally that I know I could "date," if I chose to do so. I have known him professionally for years thru my art business. Our interests mesh, and he seems very nice, but...what is it? Is it an age thing? I just resist encouraging him! I think at this stage, I've realized it's better for me to be alone as I really enjoy the peace and contentment!
Love
Patty

Patty
I am occasionally lonely; sometimes miss being able to share my day, the good and the bad, the worries about kids, the old inside jokes.....but usually I'm at peace. I have two teens still at home, at least part time, and I enjoy them and their friends so much. I have a feeling I might have some adjustment issues next year when the youngest heads off to college. I have learned to cross those emotional mind fields when I get to them. And I'm still enough of an optimist to believe that there may be someone in my future.....but I think I will always want my space, from this point forward. Guess we're growing up, huh?
xo
Kathryn

i like living alone. in an ideal world, i would like to have a boyfriend . . . someone to have dinner with occasionally, see a movie with and other benefits but i don't want someone in my space fulltime . . . i cherish my space too much. i like the autonomy. in relationships i tended to become enmeshed - not good and not healthy. boundaries are much better for me.

and my ideal mate does not seem to exist on this planet - an outdoorsman who doesn't need his girlfriend to accompany him - someone who can fix things and cook. sounds more like i need a personal assistant!

I truly believe that any woman whose been married, a mother and slave that once we are single again, and get use to it and see we are capable of existing on our own, we realize we are the lucky ones. We can do as we please, eat what and where we please, not get dressed or made up everyday for anyone. We truly enjoy delicious freedom.

And Seek from my experience, pretty much what you describe, it is easier to find a good, loyal, honest personal assistant than a decent boyfriend. They have become an endangered species.

you just reminded me of another issue i have been thinking about. i will post more on it elsewhere but for here i will say related to your comment about mothers as slaves . . . i was thinking about the current trend of "super-mothers" who are like personal assistants to their children - they do their homework projects and are generally on hand to do any tasks from driving to practices and games, washing uniforms, packing lunches, doing homework, etc. . . .i don't think it is so good for the kids. i think it creates entitlement and dependence. i can see how it happens . . . i did it somewhat with a grandkid . . .and our society is so complex and rushed that everyone needs assistants to just get by.