This is one of those threads where I think a book is in here somewhere.

Got to quote you again MA "life is as stress free as I can make it." Yes yes...that is what we all have to do for ourselves. Bravo Gims and Chatty for recognizing not to chase, but to care for your own souls. I am in that transition period right now. It is a learning experience not to chase those I love. I try to keep myself busy, but sometimes it wells up inside, and I ask myself "why", and especially "am I not worth more to them?" I have to stop questioning. Stop feeling unjustly treated, and just be my own best friend.

Humlan, you are right. Our adult children are in a busy time of their lives, but hey...it's no excuse to be rude and arrogant to those that love you. I’m a pretty busy lady myself. No matter how hard I try, I can find no excuse for my DIL's behaviour. Her b- day is today. I honestly don't know what to do. I didn't send her a card, and I don't think I will call. For then I am doing what Gims said,...”chasing”...or am I being as bad as she is? Ugh.

Chatty are you really as strong as you sound? You know, I think it’s also because we ladies tick differently. We take the time to think how is the other person really feeling? We are more compassionate and giving. And because we are that way, we expect it in return. So it is all about our expectations, right? Okay, now that I just self analyzed this, how do we lower our expectations to avoid disappointments?