We all have our "grains of sand" EW. They are important to us, just as the other horrible things going on. Together all of the grains make a beach. So, not to worry. I've refrained from posting here simply because I felt I would say too much or be too harsh on the DIL.

Anything I would say about her has already been said. In my heart, I feel it is just a matter of time before she finds a way to leave again; your son, "A" and anything else that smacks of responsibility. Sleeping in a chair while your love ones have a BBQ isn't exactly the actions of a stable person, or a happy one.

She's a time bomb. I worry for little A. I hope your son is taking good notes.

I also feel that he has to step up to the plate and realize how much of your life you and hubby have given for them, for A. She may treat you like dirt, but there's no excuse for him to do so. Withdrawing your love and attention from the child is cruelty to all concern, A, you/hubby, and the son. She knows what she is doing and personally, I think she is psychotic.

It probably won't be long before she pulls some other drama. People like her cannot remain the status quo because she is anything but a loving mother.

My heart just breaks for all of you. It's a shame the other siblings can't step in and help. Come to think of it, do you have other children? I can't recall, to be quite honest.

At any rate, time will tell.