Keeping a marriage alive does still mean doing some long standing favourite things together that feel like a comfortable pair of walking shoes on a long journey together.

Keeping the lively zip and alert wonder of each other, does mean a willingness to learn some new things together BUT also each person learn new things themselves and come back each day to their partner to share new insights.

Above knowing how to communicate deeply and also in fun way at times also.

I agree, Orchid. It does take two people's willingness to keep things alive. If one partner is not into it, it becomes a huge effort from the other and causes heartache. Two people must be invested in the challenge of keeping things alive.

I just popped in and it is exciting to hear such wonderful stories. You go girls!

I think respecting the partner...both doing this.Just the whole person and all they are..I also feel that the deepening love I have for my husband is as enriching as that first attraction.
The shared experiences matter to me.All the days we worked together to keep our household and rear our children.Not only the holidays...the ordinary days.
Commitment and treating someone as I would want to be treated.
We laugh a lot...give each other space and have done throughout the years.By space I mean time to develop each persons talents and skills .But always touching base and knowing this is the important place.
Mountain ash

Laughing with my husband does it for me. Infact it acts like an aphrodisiac. I think smileys even turn me on.

My husband tends to get caught up in serious discussions about politics, crime and global warming…I’m fine with discussing those things…but please;….not hours on end.

So when we do get silly together it’s like a fresh breeze, and I feel togetherness then. I often have to be the instigator of humour, but he catches on and even likes it. So as long as he wants to see the light side of life with me, then I think that is the best way we can battle some of those midlife doldrums.

edelweiss, great reminder to keep humor alive. Ross and I laugh at the most ridiculous things. We've shared so many experiences through the years, that sometimes, all it takes is one word to set us off. Old sayings, or words about past funny times can often set us off in to laughing attacks. It's even happened in church, and our congregation is pretty stiff. Try sitting there with your shoulders jumping up and down and tears rolling out of your eyes over a simple word the minister mentioned in his sermon.

I beleive you are the humor instigator in your marriage. No surprise here.

Greet my husband at the door after a long day at work wearing nothing but an apron and a smile...

Turn off the TV and talk.

Share in the gardening, going to the store, walking Molly, help each other in the kitchen after meals.

Compliment each other on how much we appreciate what the other does. Men especially need to know they're appreciated...I forget sometimes and can tell when he needs that. It's so funny...Larry will turn on the dishwasher so the dishes will be clean later...he lets me know he's done that and I'll praise him as if he'd just killed a dragon...it makes him beam with pride.

I guess it's not taking the other person for granted and giving him space when he's in his cave...man time to solve the problems of the world...he comes back out refreshed and able to give me the attention I need. I didn't know a lot of these things in prior marriages...but, thankfully, I know them now and it makes all the difference. John Gray has helped me understand a man so much...in fact, Larry is the one who gave me my first Mars and Venus book.

We have a ritual when Larry leaves for work. We give each other hugs and kisses in the house, then at the car...and then I run to the window seat windows and do something to make him laugh as he drives past...one day I took bubba teeth and put them in my mouth and gave him a come hither look...another, I shimmied for him, another I put a lamp share on my head...just silly stuff that he's not expecting...and then I watch his car drive away until I can't see it anymore...I like knowing that as he's leaving for another day of work that I was able to put a smile on his face.

Love notes in his lunch box...always...and love notes on his mirror, toilet seat, shower stall...underwear.

Don't embarass or humilitate or say hateful things to each other...we have our disagreements but we don't say and do things that might tear and hurt the other.

Do we have a perfect marriage? Of course not...but, it's damn close. To have found this relationship at the age of 52 and have such a strong marriage is a miracle and a blessing.

Never give up if you're still hoping to find someone...I'm proof that it can happen.

Dotsie,

Your topic caught my eye because we just celebrated our 35th anniversary - unbelievable! I'm betting there are other here with just those kinds of numbers!

I think one very important element to lasting, fun marriage is to encourage eachother to pursue passions and interests that lead an ongoing sense of individuality and contribution. Accomplishment is no less important an emotion when you are past 50 than it is decades before!

It's fun to read everyone's comments!

Lani

Lani, great idea. I can't think of anything worse than being in a marriage with someone who doesn't encourage you to be the best you can be, but sadly, I know a couple marriages like that. For the most part, the couples are older, so I hope our generation awakened to being the best we can be in a marriage.

Respect and common interests are extremely important, IMO. Hubby and I enjoy the same, yet different TV programming. He has his
TV and I have mine but we watch together sometimes. We like the
same type foods. We enjoy the outdoors and geocaching together.
We like to go RVing and see the countryside. We like the same
type music: bluegrass and country/western. Many of you have wonderful ideas. And I agree with them all.