Thanks Jabber, Dolphin, Meredith, Anne, Eagle, Chatty, Anno, Dancer, JJ, Chickadee, Dots, and anyone I may have missed, for your words of sympathy and support,

Fathers _are_ special to daughters. To sons as well. My little brother seems to be having the hardest time. My older brother and I are probably the most accepting. My younger sister and brother having more trouble. The grandchildren have been very involved, visiting in the hospital, helping with the party, being on call for various tasks.

It's interesting to see how the family dynamic changes. Mom has always been such an independent person. Or seemed to be. Now it's revealed how dependent she was on him. She lost her sight a few years ago and covered up pretty well because he started the dishwasher and the microwave, which she had trouble with.

One big lesson is about community. I mentioned before that they'd moved to a retirement community 6 years ago. They moved into a building that had just been built, so everyone in there moved in at the same time. Kind of like a freshman class. They started traditions together, got adjusted together, and formed bonds. As Dots said, it's cool to see how you can form friendships all through life. The couple next door to my mom have been great -- she of course can't drive (though the week before she was diagnosed with macular degeneration she passed her drivers test!!!!) -- they take her to dinner and even took her to Ravinia, the outdoor concert park in the Chicago area. The husband of that couple even was in the same line of work as my dad.

Speaking of forming friendships later in life, after my divorce about 10 or so years ago, I went to an event with my mom -- it was her business partner's 80th birthday party. This woman asked my mom to join her in a business, when my mom was in her 50s. Mom said that everyone in that room was someone she'd met since her 50s. She said they used to talk about how they couldn't relate to pre-menopausal women! I love this because I teach college students who often say they can't relate to older (i.e., more than 25 years old) people.