I wanted to report back about what happened. We had planned my folks' 60th wedding anniversary -- Dad worked on the guest list and rented the room. Then he died 3 weeks before the event, but we decided to go ahead with it. We opened up the invitations, so about 200 people came, 14 of whom (including my brother, me and a sister in law) got up and paid tribute. Two were from Dad's army unit (he was a Lt Col., WW II vet, served as a Captain in Europe).

My mom was amazed that Dad knew so many people. Even the woman from the dry cleaners was there, and one of the nurses at the retirement home got up to speak. At the home, residents have their own place, but there's a hospital wing if you get sick, or Alzheimers, etc. Dad used to go over there and visit people. The nurse who spoke said she admired how Dad would go over and talk to a former neighbor who got Alzheimers. She said he wouldn't talk "gobbledy gook" but talk to him like a man.

Since mom lost her vision a few years ago, she has become more insular, and has had difficulty going out to meet people. But the party allowed the residents who came to see another side of her. The whole family was there -- even my stepson from my previous marriage (so he's my ex-stepson) and his wife and 3 kids.

We did a couple of things I'd like to share: We asked for contributions to _Your_ favorite charity, in Dad's name, which worked well, in lieu of flowers. Still, we received a lot of flowers. Before I left town, Mom and I went around and delivered 9 bouquets to residents. Some of them were people mom felt grateful to because they keep taking her out to dinner and keep her busy. But others were residents who are worse off than she is. Another widow with macular degeneration, who just had her hip replaced, a widow in a wheel chair, with bone marrow cancer, in a lot of pain, whom no one likes (except for my folks!) because she's somewhat abrasive, and so on. Mom felt good about making them happy with the visit and the flowers.