I think part of any grieving process is to laundry list the "What ifs", the "might have beens" the "should haves"...but then we need to all move ahead, and to quote our fabulously eloquent lionspaaw...

"it's human nature to have a pity party now and then -- makes us stronger to pick ourselves up, shake it off and move on.

The secret is to know when to leave the party ! "

Leaving that pity party is exactly the point..
a point I want to remember for the rest of my life...Thanks Lionsspaaw..