Chick, I was struck by your post about your Mom on your shoulder helping you through the day. It reminded me of this past August, when my brother and 2 nieces were staying with us. I was cooking a big ham dinner and decided at the last minute to try and make Mom's peach sauce that she used to make to go with the ham. She never told us the recipe, so I was winging it. But it didn't turn out very good. So I heaved a big sigh and said, "Oh Mama, I wish you were here to help me figure this out." No kidding, I could hear her voice as clear as if she was standing right beside me, telling me to add this, try that and blend in this...things I hadn't thought to try. The result was a peach sauce that everyone's STILL talking about and they've already put in an order for it for one of the meals over the Christmas holidays.

I'm not sure I'll be able to repeat it, I forgot to write it down...but I surely won't forget that incredibly intimate moment when I could feel her presence and hear her voice talking me through the recipe!

[ November 29, 2005, 04:47 PM: Message edited by: Eagle Heart ]

My dad passed away about a month before my cancer surgery. When I came out of anesthesia I was calling for him. I swear I felt his hand on my shoulder and his voice telling me I was going to come through this just fine. To this day, I believe he was there with me.

It's been 4 years now, and this was honestly the first Thanksgiving that hasn't been tinged with sadness.

Searcher...just read your Thanksgiving story.
I felt I was right there with the both of you.
Could almost feel the cool mist of the mountain air. Your vision of the tree tops, snow-capped trees and the lake crossed thru my mind's eye.
How beautiful...

Searcher girlfriend...you need to write. I was teary eyed the whole way through. I feel like I just got back from the mountains. You are gifted and I mean that with all my heart.

I fell in love with your son. I already loved you. He is absolutely a dear. Revel in his attentiveness.

I bet Nicole wa honored by the way you two chose to spend the holiday. I can't wait to read about your Christmas.

Searcher, by the way...you're an inspiration. You would never know you were suffering the loss of a daughter by reading your post. You're a remarkable woman and I pray you stay focused on the blessings.

Vi, thanks for the reminder that our loved ones who have passed from this earth are still with us. That's so improtant for this time of year.

Jackie, time does heal wounds...doen't it?

Searcher,
Thank you for taking us with you. I can't recall ever having such a loving experience thru words of another. I agree with Dotsie... if you are not a writer, then the world is missing out. Please do so with haste.

JJ

Ohhhh, Women!

We are such friends here aren't we? I feel cheated not to able to spend more time on here..Feel like the job is the lesser of the important things and is crowding out my time with all of you.

Eagle, I, too feel those blessings are just multiplying and thank you for thinking of it..I love it that you heard your mom so clearly. Do you feel her spirit is always with you or just sometimes?

Vi - you are such a dear - It helps me to know that others feel their lost ones are still with us. I have not been able to "feel" my Nichole since moving, but also I have been trying to let her rest - so maybe it's me not her.

Thanx Avalon - Sam and I have had to go through a lot together, and I think in some ways , this has caused our special relationship - tho' I can't imagine my Sam being any different than he is today - and I am eternally grateful for just the sight of him. He has always been the one to bring light to a heavy situation - imitating people with his "voices", and just general boy stunts...Saving the day - that's Sam.

NHJackie - Surely it was your father who put his hand on your shoulder - did you actually feel a weight? And I'm glad you are able now to begin to enjoy your holidays - it sure is hard, huh?

Thank you so much Yepthatsme - I'm so glad I was able to relate what I was seeing and feeling - that makes me REALLY happy!!!

Dotsie, when you tell me that you think I should write, It makes me want to take pen to paper this instant! You'll never know how much those words mean to me - and others who have encouraged me also. I feel like I have supporters here, and feel so much more confident to try this ...

You know, almost everbody loves Sam - he is just such a likeable fellow - and he is a natural caregiver - always trying make things better for someone. I am really blessed to have Sam.

I hope our Nichole was with us - these are places she would have had a hard time visiting in her life, and now Sam and I take her ashes with us on our little trips. We have a small urn and it goes in my purse - so we say "Don't forget Nichole!! We spread a tiny amount her ashes whenever we make a special trip so that she is able to have been there too. When we get down to the last of them, we'll keep the last urn full. I do try to stay focused on the blessings, but I also stilll miss her so terribly. But I know that this will calm in time and as others have said, they are always with us...

Blessings to all

Searcher

Just saw your post, JawJaw

Thank you!!Thank you!!!!Thank you!!! And I will!! I will!!! I'm really excited!!Can you tell?

Searcher, Please, please try to write something to be published and read by everyone...not just we lucky Boomer Ladies...you have such a talent...just reading about your day with Sam had me right there with you...the images were so vivid..I could smell and taste and feel everything that you described...you have something to offer the whole world girlfriend...a real gift!!!

It's been my experience with every loss, every loved one that has gone on, that when the loss was new, when the pain was most intense, when I needed the comfort of my loved one with me the most, that's when I was least able to feel it. Like you say, Searcher, it was me, not them. Pain gets in the way of knowing, of feeling our loved ones with us. The more debilatating the pain, the bigger block to the awareness of their presence. Oh, I'm sure they have other lives, other things to do. The next dimension or heaven or whatever we want to call it, has wondrous possibilities. So our loved ones are busy doing their things, but... but the call of love is strong, and it is my belief that in the next world, it's possible to be doing two things at once. They are our angels on our shoulders. As we heal, as we grow, we can come to know more and more that they are with us, holding our hands, bathing us in love.

Nichole was with you, Searcher, on your journey to the mountains, I'm sure of it, even if she was doing healing work on the next level too. You love her, she loves you. There is nothing stronger than love. Those who love follow one another across eternity.