My daughter has so many friends. She has only a few close friends but there is a group that all get together sometimes at the same time, other times just some of the group. I have tried to be in touch with the parents but many of them don't want to be bothered.

The summer is the worst as they have too much time on their hands. At least my daughter does. I plan to take her to an art college soon when we are on a mini vacation. I'm going there specifically to show her this school. It's incredible and I think she will be totally impressed.

Your so right about picking you battles. I'm trying to have adult heart to hearts. I told her she is smart and that I know she will make good decisions. I also told her she is almost an adult and she will have to be responsible for her choices. It's just all the peer pressure, I realize that.

Tonight she is staying home so I am going to take the opportunity to try to get her to open up and talk.
Kate

Kate, it is true that teens that aren't busy and have time on their hands are more difficult to manage. If she doesn't have a job, are there any extra curricular activities through her school that she can get involved in?

I so hear you here. Three of my daughters were in HS when I went through my divorce and their dad was well being a stinkin' jerk with me and them, very belligerent and wanting his "freedom." So I didn't have the ability to talk to him rationally about dealing with the teens. What helped me, especially with my youngest who was 14 at the time and somewhat rebellious, was working with her to play basketball. She got on a summer league and then onto the JV and later, varsity team, at school. It ate up so much of her time and energy she didn't even want to do much else. The two others were involved in the HS marching band, which made them practice all summer long. Adolescents need to have some focus on some activity or interest...they have way too much time and energy to be bored for long And if they have some activity--job, sport, group--they tend to make good friends with shared interests, too.

The art college idea sounds wonderful!! Does she enjoy the arts? Is there some community group she can get involved in? (Here some of the local museums, schools, and churches sponsor summer activities like art classes, outdoor/nature activities, bible study, etc. for teens.)

Katebcca...how did the talk with your daughter go?

Keeping you in my prayers...

Things are better. The talk was short and sweet. I tried to empower her by telling her that she is smart and I know she will make good decisions.

Yes Orchid, it is the Emily Carr Institute. She is an incredible artist and her name is Emilie too.

I am so stressed out with my oldest son around mainly because he spends every cent he makes and I just know he won't have enough money for a place at the end of the month. It is probably going to get messy as I will have to have him removed. I'm preparing for that.

He takes my time away from focusing on my daughter and youngest son. I need all the time I can get to bond with them as they are under alot of pressure to fit in with the crowd. My youngest is 14, works full time and works out at the gym. For now I don't have to worry about him as he is very focused thank goodness.

I am counting the days until my eldest leaves sad to say. We get along much better when he doesn't live under my roof.

Kate

Kate, empowering your daughter and believing in her is the best thing you can do. When we beleive in them, they also beleive in themselves. Don't you think.

I just finished a book called The Summer of Naked Swim Parties. I mention it here because the main character was a 14 year-old girl. It might be worth the read because it totally reminds you of the way young teens think, compare, measure up, etc. Sometimes we forget what it was like to live in that teen world with all the choices.

The story is a little out there, but it was a fun summer read.

Carry on dear friend. You're an awesome mom.