Oh, Mama, you are being tested!! Please let us know how your daughter is doing. Forgive me if this sounds harsh, but shame on your husband for not going with you...

I agree with you re: my husband. He seems to act like nothing is going on!!
She will be in the lock down psyche unit until Monday where upon she'll go to a day treatment program. We can only see her 5-7 daily. I met with social worker today and she let me sneak in to bring her her puppy dog (it was a stuffed animal my dad kept in his room before he died). She always sleeps with him. Oh, she looked so beautiful and we held each other so tight.

Mama, is she your baby? 13 is so young to be going through this. Let's hope she talks about what drove her to such a radical action.

Yes, she is my baby - my youngest and she's so beautiful - she looks like porcelain doll plus she has beautiful long wavy blonde hair. But she hadn't been keeping up hygeine. Wouldn't wash her hair, etc. She's safe there and I think she'll be open to talk.

Sounds like depression.

Big time depression - she's been on anti-depressants for awhile. She is ADHD, Bi-Polar and depressed. She was born cocaine addicted (my sisters bio daughter that I adopted.)
Two of the girls I adopted were cocaine addicted at birth. This one also had NO prenatal care - NONE. My sister was intoxicated when she gave birth as well.

Ahhh, I didn't realize she was actually one of your nieces. Poor kid. She ws not given a good start but she is blessed to have you looking out for her.

Vi, I checked Amazon and found your book. You got a good review! I'm reading two different books right now and am expecting 3 more from B&N any day, but after that, I will order it.
Hopefully something good will come out of that awful event. Maybe someone will recognize signs in a person they know before they snap.

Mamacat,

When we are kids we have no experience to know that everything will work out. We only see that things look awful to us, and it seems like things will never get better.

I remember when I was 16 and had a fiance in Vietnam and kids my age were getting killed all the time. It seemed life would never improve. I remember after Gary died, when I almost walked myself into the river. I was depressed at the time but had had no suicidal thoughts until all at once there it was, and I thought - I can be with him by afternoon. It took all the strength I had not to do it. By then I was 39. I understand hopelessness.

So, you dear daughter sees only hopelessness. Drugs have been her history and, unfortunately, all of them, even the prescription drugs take their toil. At the time my brother murdered his neighbors he was taking Stellazine, Thorazine, Librium and Valium and a couple of other things, all prescribed by "kindly" doctors.

While I don't know what it's like for your daughter, I do understand despair, and the best cure for despair is for someone to show you that they care. Cherish her, tell her that her soul is special, that she came into this life for a special purpose, that she is loved by us - us Boomer Women. In your heart, in your prayers wrap her in loving kindness - in whatever higher way your heart and beliefs tell you to do. And remember what it was like to be 13 with all those hormones flucutating all over the place. I'm on the tail end of a horrid menopause - and it reminded me of what it was like to be a teenager with out of control hormones.

I've heard said that writers are born, not developed, that you are either born with the gift or you are not. I'm here to say that you can teach yourself to write. I did. When I started writing the story about my brother, what I wrote sounded like I was in the third grade. But I was determined, and I like to think it worked.


Blessings to you. Blessings to your daughter, and if you need to talk one on one, send me a private message, and I will respond.

Western Bluebird - I'm glad found the book. And since it came out in 1993 and did not sell well, I'm not sure how much it helped anyone. But it is my hope that somehow, someway it will still bring blessings to others. I'm pretty frank about how it affected me...I lay myself bare in the book, although I changed everyone else's names. To be less than honest about my reactions would have negated my reason for writing the book.

Love to all of you,
Vi

Mama, sorry to hear about your daughter, know exactly how you feel.
When my son was younger we had to place him in the hospital for over a year and a half. It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. But, I would do it again to keep him safe.
I'm with Bluebird, your husband should have been by your side.
I'll remember your family in my prayers.