Vi,
What beautiful insight; thank you so much for sharing. This brought tears to my eyes, because you express everything I still long to express but don't, because it's been three years and I think I "ought" not to be pouring out my longing and agony of absence for everyone to see anymore. But it's all still there, raw, fresh, yearning; I miss them more today than ever before. That void, that empty spot at the table of my heart still hurt; the smells and smiles and quirks and idiosyncracies linger so long after that I can't help but long for the skin that used to contain all those smells and smiles and quirks and idiosyncracies.

And how I too would love to be annoyed by my Mom just one more time.

I've had a lifelong problem with the well-intentioned phrase "God is enough", because the concept of God, even a profound faith in the unseen God, isn't always enough to assuage the yearning for skin to touch with our passion and love and longing. We ARE God's skin to each other; without our hands, our hugging arms, our smiling faces, our feet, our caring eyes and listening ears, God is severely limited in how He can touch us and truly be with us in the ways that our hearts and souls yearn to be companioned.

Thank you again Vic, for sharing your depth of insight and wisdom.

Wow,thanks to both of you, Francine and Eagle Heart, for your affirmations of what I was feeling needed to be said. I didn't answer your posts yesterday because I wanted to think about it. Really, I hoped God would give me the words, so you would know what you felt in your heart was truly being heard by someone other than just me. Sometimes, I'm blessed to be an instrument this way. I was even thinking that maybe your moms were with me, as well, guiding me to find a way to comfort you.

Thank you for your kinds words.

From this little patch of God's skin,
Vi

Dotsie what a beautiful way to say good bye to your mom. You all helped her die in peace with the love that surrounded her room. Aileen

Dotsie, I want to thank you so much for recommending Final Gifts: The Special Awareness Needs and Communications of the Dying to me. I got it yesterday and am not quite half way through it. It is beautiful, and oh so helpful. I recommend it to everyone, even those who are struggling to overcome the loss of someone who has already passed. And again I want to thank you for sharing your story of your mother's passing. I didn't say enough about how much it touched me. You are a wondferful soul,as are all the women on this site. It amazes me how loving you all are.

Blessings to all of you.
Vi

Vi, I'm so glad the book is helping you see the belssing amidst the sadness. You and your family remain in my thoughts and prayers. Did you get to see her this weekend?

Vi, I'm so glad you found this forum at this time of heartache for you. I lost my beautiful aunt last September and it was the wonderful women on this site who helped me heal and realize that she had moved on to a place she wanted to be. I will be praying for you also. I wish you peace.

I greatly appreciate everyone's prayers. It does help.

No, Dotsie, I did not see my sister this weekend. She was very weak by Saturday and had to be taken by ambulance to emergency. Turns out, her heart, which functions very poorly, wasn't providing enough oxygen. They put her on oxygen full time and sent her home. When she wokeup the next morning, she felt a lot better. I didn't know about until yesterday afternoon when I talked to her. She had clarity, and it was a good conversation.

While I talked to her I kept in mind the things I learned from the book Dotsie recommended. So when my sister said she woke up and heard her son's voice and thought it was an angel, (she hadn't known he and his wife had spent the night) I used the opportunity to ask her if she saw angels and told that I do sometimes. She said she thought maybe so, but she always forgets. At least now she knows she can talk to me about it. Then this morning I heard from my brother-in-law. He said today she is weak and rambling again, and he was hoping he could get her to the car and take her to her doctor's appointment. She can no longer walk. The doorways in the house aren't wide enough for a wheelchair. I haven't heard yet how that went. My husband and I will be up to see them Friday, the day after they go to Hospice to see what services are available to them. I sensed my brother-in-law is near breaking. His kids are helping him, but still.

Dianne, yes, I am so glad I found the site and have the support from you and all the wonderful people here. It's a blessing. So glad you had help with your dear aunt.

I spent the day yesterday mellowing myself out about the whole thing.

Thank you all.

My love to all of you.

Vi

During times like these, I believe God puts his arms around us and holds us safe against his heart. I pray that, even through this awful time, you can feel those wonderful arms surrounding you with love.

smile

It's a lovely, cozy-feeling belief. Thank you for sharing it.

Vi