The graduation festivities have barely faded..balloons are still hanging in my little apartment..the Swedish flag is still displayed inside and outdoors..only a week ago I was creaking under all the parties held here all week..hoping the neighbors or I won´t go crazy..and now the computer in the kitchen with the accompanying music has disappeared. The mess is partially gone..

My 18 yr old has his own little place on the otherside of town..thanks to his older brother..and he has a job..also thanks to his brother.

All this is so right..so unexpected..so why am I drinking vodka drinks like there was no tomorrow and crying into my glass? I guess that I am doing what all mothers do..he is my last of 5..my baby..the one I had really connected with these last few years. He towers over us all with his smile..joy to be alive and his interest and love for his friends and people in general. He has taken his laughter, energy and zest for life..his light..and moved it away. And all is well..I KNOW..so it should be!

Guys..this ain´t easy. The emptying of the nest is ranked as one of the top 10 crises in life..and now I am reminded again why. UFFFFFF!!!!!!!

I know that this is actually a happy story..unbelievably so..for both my son and myself. I KNOW. So where is the old crone now?

I am taking the first steps toward finding her again by listening to Metallica..and getting some heavy testerone mixed in with my female hormones (if I have any left at 60). But it´s tough, ladies. As many of you know.

He and I sat quietly on our veranda yesterday before driving him and his stuff to his new place. And we silently said so much to eachother..and it was ok to cry..for both of us. OOOO such memories! When and if he comes back..it will not be the same..he will have moved on..and hopefully..me,too. An era of children..and it has been a mighty era of nearly 40 years has come to an end. Of course..putting it like that..it´s no wonder that I am going crazy with emotion. Right? I mean it´s 2/3´s of my earthly life at this point.

And I am soooo happy for him..and proud of him! And I do have a partner that is looking forward to some private time with me..so what am I whining about?????

No, humlan, it isn't easy. But, we must be thankful that he is in good health, in a good mental state and wise enough to take the next step in adulthood... of course, it's at your expense, in a way. I know you can see the beauty in it, though. Open your arms to you, now.

You've struck a chord and the tears are flowing.

Bless you. For now, embrace your partner.

I'll write more when I can get my act together on this topic.

Oh Humlan
wallow in the feeling then when you surface get ready for what next..My son went to so post grad. at a University and I can still remember his face at that window..we were taken unaware at the enormity of the seperation.
Then
like all good books...what happened next.
PLENTY.
and a greater understanding.
Remember that "All things pass"
Love Mountain ash

Crone

we had a discussion way back about crone.You use that term.
I like it. Senior status..wise one.
Mountain ash

Humlan, I am feeling for you. Not having any children of my own, I can not fully understand, but please know I am empathetic.

And do take care of yourself. Find something to celebrate something that is wonderful for you right now.

You are here in my heart.

You're in my heart too...sending love and hugs to fill some of those empty spaces.

It's bittersweet, Humlan, isn't it?
Best to you.

Dancer

What are you whining about? Rites of passage....of loving and letting go, and...of holding on. All good things and they all have their place and purpose. You speak of your love for him, how proud you are of him, and I can tell it fills you up. As a mother, how that warms my very own heart.

The pain you are feeling is real and the fear of things changing is knocking on your hearts door. How well I know it all. Is it okay to cry? Darn straight! Feel every blessed minute. As someone said, embrace it! Wallow in it if you so choose! Have a drink, play your music. Whatever lifts you.

You say 40 years has come to an end...so have another 40.

No, it isn't easy, and yes, you are emotional, but you will find the way back to your happy heart...I promise. It may be one day at a time, but isn't that all we were promised anyway?

You'll see another side of this new life and new lifeSTYLE if you'll give yourself some time...and don't forget to always live in the moment(s). We're here!

Humlun, I feel your sadness and hope that each day you start feel a little better about it. Luv n hugs from me too.