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#14939 - 04/24/05 11:26 PM Re: Recovery from broken relationships...
Princess Lenora Offline
Member

Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 3503
Loc: Colorado
Ari, thank you so much for emailing me your art. I get it now: Artrox! I want one. How do I find you on Ebay? I tried to email you but my email out isn't coming out today. Chatty and Lion, I am so sorry you experienced those heartbreaking losses. I admire and respect your position of moving forward even though sometimes it feels like we are hiking uphill with cement boots stuck in quicksand! Eagle, thank you for always understanding the meaning in my messages, and putting your wise words to work for us! Love and Light to all of you, Lynn

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#14940 - 04/25/05 12:07 AM Re: Recovery from broken relationships...
ariadne54 Offline
Member

Registered: 04/02/05
Posts: 233
Loc: WV
Smile...You are responding from a bitter viewpoint...I am new here, and have explored the other posts, but I have not found evidence of what you speak...You are WRONG, wrong, wrong about me. You characterized my dilemma from the start as something to do with a broken marriage!!!! Where do you get off making such a judgment!!! Sorry you are in pain and having trouble walking, but don't make assumptions about other people's circumstances!!!! Even after I explained to you that I was in a 20+ year unhappy marriage that I was happy to get away from, and divorced now for 8 years, you still stuck to the divorce syndrome. You're way off base!!!
ARI

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#14941 - 04/25/05 02:54 PM Re: Recovery from broken relationships...
Dianne Offline
Queen of Shoes

Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 6123
Loc: Arizona
As I read your post about your mom and dad, I think I saw the relationship with your father and how he just wasn't there for you. I think you might have tried to transfer feelings to this man who seemed a lot like your dad. Just not there, just not that into you. I did it with my dad. I kept dating men just like him and even married one just like him! I think this might be why this fling hurt you so much. It was just like your dad doing it over again to you. And, I know from experience how much it hurts. Maybe if you analyzed that, it might help you. We all have to ask where we're getting our nourishment from in a relationship and if we aren't getting any, it's time to run!

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#14942 - 04/25/05 04:26 PM Re: Recovery from broken relationships...
Dianne Offline
Queen of Shoes

Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 6123
Loc: Arizona
Ariadne has replied to other posts.

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#14943 - 04/25/05 06:44 PM Re: Recovery from broken relationships...
jawjaw Offline
Da Queen

Registered: 07/02/03
Posts: 12025
Loc: Alabama
I'm jumping in late here (as usual) but after reading all the post, I'm going to go with Dianne's assessment that you've transferred your emotional needs to this person you've only known a couple of months. I think it takes years and years and years to build a "relationship" because one needs to learn about each other daily, grown together, create history, memories, and most importantly of all, nuture each other. It sounds as if your needs are greater than even you may understand. I'm saying this as kindly as I can Ari...and I mean no harm, at all. I'm wondering if possibly therapy of some sort could help? I've been single almost 13+ years and while that's a long time, it certainly doesn't make me an expert of ANYTHING...however, I can tell you the sliver-lining for me has been getting to enjoy my own company. Loving myself had to come first. I wouldn't trade my status for anything; well, unless of course Sam Elliott were to come tripping thru my living room and want me...then I'd be history...

It doesn't sound like you have other interest but I could be way off base here.

Just another viewpoint.

I also think the other women were just trying to help you put things into perspective as well. I don't think they meant to cause you pain. Sometimes it takes someone outside our own comfort zone to help us realize that what we view as a HUGE problem, is really...a mustard seed.

JJ

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#14944 - 04/25/05 08:58 PM Re: Recovery from broken relationships...
ariadne54 Offline
Member

Registered: 04/02/05
Posts: 233
Loc: WV
All of your feedback has been helpful to me! Even the ones who are kicking my butt! Jawjaw...I do have a full life... a wonderful job, a 4.0 grad student, lovely twin toddler grandsons, and wonderful close friends. I posted this topic.."Recovering from a broken relationship," because I thought others might have experiences to share which would help me also in moving beyond. And, Chatty, I do nice things for people every day, and see the value in precious life. I also see the futility in dwelling on a relationship that didn't work, and, for first day in over a month, today, I feel uplifted and NOT depressed by it for a change. So, the feedback here has helped me. Still, Chatty and Smile, I wonder why you have felt it worthwhile to post devaluing comments to my topic! If you have nothing better to say, why read it or post at all?
ARI

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#14945 - 04/25/05 09:09 PM Re: Recovery from broken relationships...
jawjaw Offline
Da Queen

Registered: 07/02/03
Posts: 12025
Loc: Alabama
TWIN GRANDSONS? Now THAT is a blessing! For you for sure! I don't know about the boys Mother though! LOL! I raised two boys and I know from whence I speak! hahahah....

Well, Ari, I'm so glad to hear your life is full, and it certainly sounds like it is. A 4.0 grad student is certainly something to be proud of...I thought for a long time while mine were growing up, that I would have to get a bumper sticker that said, "My son's on the Honor Roll at San Quniton." Holy Moly! But they both turned out alright...and are pretty nice people.

I'm glad to hear you are not depressed, and it sounds as though you are moving on. Good for you girl...life is short...eat dessert first!

I need to add that I truly do not feel that the women here devalue your post hon. I know these women. They are kind, caring, intelligent, and would only want to help you and be a friend. Honestly.

I think we ALL (self included) have to realize that if we put ourselves out here for discussion, we need to be ready to accept what comes our way, whether we think its of value, or not. Take what you need from the discussion, and what you don't want/need/like, discard.

We all need to remember, we're sistahs...Friends heal friends...k?

JJ

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#14946 - 04/25/05 09:35 PM Re: Recovery from broken relationships...
Dianne Offline
Queen of Shoes

Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 6123
Loc: Arizona
Twin grandsons? How cool is that? Nothing like those grandbabies to light up our lives! Of course, mine are perfect. Unlike their parents [Razz] They can do no wrong.

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#14947 - 04/25/05 10:13 PM Re: Recovery from broken relationships...
jawjaw Offline
Da Queen

Registered: 07/02/03
Posts: 12025
Loc: Alabama
Chatty said to post something good so here goes...I just got off the phone with a friend named Liz. She said when she went to work for IBM back in 1965 that she worked with people named:

Robin Hood
Ben Hurr
Chuck Roast
Fanny Wiper (who later married a Draper)
Rusty Gates
and a set of twins named Odd and Even Bloch

I am not lying...The only one I could offer is a girl I know named Bumpsy who married a guy who's last name is Rump.

JJ

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#14948 - 04/25/05 10:17 PM Re: Recovery from broken relationships...
ariadne54 Offline
Member

Registered: 04/02/05
Posts: 233
Loc: WV
LOL, Jawjaw...Bumpsy and Rump!!!'
Thanks for the lift!!!
Yeah, the little twins, Jack and Mickey, not quite 3 yet, are quite a handful! Maybe I'll go visit them (3.5 hours away) this weekend. They really keep me grounded!
ARI

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