BonnieK,
Take care of you. You're the 1 that needs healing. And you need to guard your emotional well being, too. I had a friend that knocked herself out for her stepchildren. They turned around and destroyed her. Again, I say, take care of Bonnie!
Prayers and blessings...

I am so glad I'm not alone here. After reading everyone's comments, I am steadfast in what I believe is right. BF did call me at work yesterday to tell me his daughter has managed to get a few more tickets, but still putting it out there for 2 more, meaning me and probably the homeless person on the corner (no insult to that person whoever it might be). I just said that was nice, nothing else. I have been thinking about the next few years and its very unsettling to me. We are suppose to life partners, but this last episode does not indicate that to me. I have had problems with BF over the years. Its always been related to his kids. It has gotten better as the years have gone on due to the kids getting older (note I did not say maturing). I am just trying to focus on healing. Hysterectomys really are bugger. I had two c sections a million years ago. This is much harder (then again I'm not 27 & 30 anymore)

I do need a vacation. However with no time off, I think I might get myself a pedicure today

You are all the best. With all the crap on the internet, this site and a great one called hystersister.com renews my faith..

I feel better physically since I have made a decision. You are all right, this stress is making me physically ill. I still am realing from "cancer" and recovery and a very busy season where I work.

Bonnie, you might want to go to the library and check out a couple books about taking care of yourself, or Google some articles about the topic. Sometimes when I need to learn a lesson, it helps me to read and delve into the topic. I them become immersed in it, and it starts seeping it. You can use some self-nurturing right now. I hope this helps.

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You are all the best. With all the crap on the internet, this site and a great one called hystersister.com renews my faith..

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Bonnie, I discovered BWS through hystersisters.com at post-op! Hope all continues to be well with your recovery.

Good girl Bonnie, think of you first as it seems no one else is doing that. We're behind you 100% if that helps. Just tell your BF once and for all that you are NOT going, you needn't even give him a reason. If he had half a brain he'd know why and understand...Hang tough!

Oh Bonnie..you´ve got some really good thoughts and advice here..nothing more for me to add..except YOU will always be living with YOU..as your sisters have said here..and it´s so important, then..that you take care of yourself and give yourself time to heal..on so many levels,too. You´ve been thru an awful lot and you need time to recover..it´s not always easy to say no..God knows..but sometimes it is imperative..like NOW for YOU!!! You´ll be no good to anyone if you become ill again in some way due to all this unnecessary stress. I agree with everyone that your BF should SEE YOU and where you are now! You were lucky enough to get your cancer diagnosed early..but that doesn´t make you less ill! You´ve had MAJOR SURGERY and a MAJOR ILLNESS..dear dear Bonnie..your BF´s family dynamics are not YOURS..and I am saying this and I have family (my adult children,too) where the dymnamics are very f..... up with a BF of my own. But I don´t mix him into my family´s web..not practically. He may have to listen to my thoughts and worries..but he doesn´t have to be a part of it all, physically. That´s not fair to him, I think..he doesn´t have the history..the blood ties. He is welcome when he wants to be there..but otherwise, it´s ok not be there,too. And my dear..you have to take care of yourself and not go trapesing around 4hrs in a car!!!!

Ok, my 2 cents anyway..

I really thought I was taking care of myself. I am mixing up taking care of myself with selfishness, so I compromise when I don't want to. All your comments have this same thread. I have told him endless times i am not going. We have not talked about it for a few days and I know he thinks I will back down and go. Honestly sisters, I'm just exhausted and am not up for another confrontation. As I have mentioned I have a high stress job, which is about as much as I can handle in one day, in between hot flashes, thyroid surges,eczema breakouts and exhaustion. I'm pooped. Gee, am I dense or what???? In my effort to take care of myself, I slept half the day Saturday, cooked (which is therapy to me, at least BF does all the cleanup. sunday I took a nice long walk and started a weaving project. I had a massage scheduled at a cancer wellness center near my house, but they had to cancel. So how am I doing??? I will no longer talk about this ridiculous situation. His other daughter pulled a new fast selfish one too, and I just let it go. I had to laugh though. I told a good friend about the graduation thing and for those who watch dancing with the stars will crack up. She says as far as the graduation goes, "I'm in the bottom two"! I was hysterical. Well, I had voted myself off! Thanks for the wise words and friendship.