Bonnie your BF sounds like a first class jerk to me. You just had MAJOR SURGERY and need his support and nurturing not him causing you stress. If it were me I just WOULDN'T GO, whats he going to do bodily pick you up and carry you? Ignore the jerk and go about your own business, you don't want to take advantage of what sounds like a very kind boss, you need to keep some of your sick time and his patience in case you need them eventually.
Your BF and his daughter sound like selfish, uncaring, spoiled losers. Sorry if I sound harsh but I mean every word. You'll find me to be the outspoken, tell it like it is gal in this group...
Heal, take care of yourself and ignore this BF of yours...Personally I'd kick him to the curb if he kept it up, let him go stay with his daughter, sounds like they deserve one another. The apple didn't fall far from the tree in her case. I'd bet his family wasn't sending YOU get well cards, calling or offering help during or after your surgery etc...