Humlan, what you are describing about your father is actually a typical characteristic of perpetrators of abuse. What I understand you saying is that he blamed the abuse on 1) whiskey 2) McCarthy 3) job loss. What is typical here is the inability of the abuser to take responsiblity for his actions. He says he lost a job because it was the McCarthy era. So the train of thought is 1) it's the McCarthy era PLUS 2) he lost his job = abusing his daughter. He has blamed McCarthy not only for losing his job but also for abusing his daughter. This is a pattern of the abuser, a convoluted blaming system. Education has nothing to do with the competance of a psychiatrist. And why was your father going to a Harvard trained psychiatrist in the first place? Then, your father tries to control YOUR decision to get married by second-guessing your motives for marriage. At that point it is not his business WHY you get married. It is only up to you. He played a mind game, and playing games with your mind is a form of control. Getting the psychiatrist on board is another matter of control, controlling you with the theoretical expertise of the psychiatrist. Your father lived 20 years past the crisis? Was the crisis a hoax to manipulate you? There is a lot to think about here. It is probably hard to hear. It's amazing that you say you are on the brink of talking about this on another level. Talking is a huge part of healing. Unfortunately, talking isn't easy. Healing isn't easy. But it is possible. healing means different things to different people. Empowering yourself by recognizing the truth is part of healing. L, PL