EH, praying something as light as a feather will soon knock down those walls.

BreathingAgain, welcome. Glad you're able to share about this topic. You make an excellent point about why women in these abusive situations are afraid to ask for help. I think Eagle also touched on it by menitoning the fear of giving her dad a heart attack. I hope to see youposting in other forums soon. So glad you're breathing again. I must share that a friend of mine had horrendous asthma. Her therapist told her it was anxiety. She denied it. Her mom was living with and dying in her home. Once her mom died, the asthma subsided. So I believe your screen name to be totally true.

JJ, this sounds odd, but I missed me too. Sometimes I just get overwhelmed and withdraw. Thanks...!! Eagle, wow, it does sound like you have an amazing therapist. It sounds like you look to everyone like you had to look to your mom. Through her body language, expressions, hidden agendas, you had to decipher how YOU had to react, such as, "If she says this, then I better say that." Etc. It sounds very exhausting. Oh, and that threat is so abusive in itself: "if you ever tell, it will kill your father." Then what, you are left with your mother? I think sometimes we don't know how or when our prayers are answered. You are facing what you need to see ("see") so that you can have peace. That's an amazing profound answer to a prayer. Despite the ugliness of the abuse, and it's ramifications, when you acknowledge it for what it is, I know for sure that you become more whole because the truth of who you really are (loved, loving, loveable) fills the holes with light. L, PL xxoo