Princess..it was a bit hard to write here this time..I even deleted my post once..but I think I am on the brink of being able to talk about this on another level..so I want to try... if I can´t..I´ll go pm.

Ladies..this is a whole new concept for me..this business of controll..premeditation, etc. I have been abused by several men among those that I knew and trusted as a teen-ager..and even before my teenage years. But the most difficult was my father. And he is the one whom I talked to years later..because he wanted to. I didn´t really want to. My parents were living in Calif then and I in Sweden. My father said that he was sick and didn´t have all that much time left. So I took 2 of my children and made the long trip out..in 1983..a year after my daughter died. He said it happened because of his misuse of whiskey and the fact that he lost a very important job from one day to the next..not because of drink, but during the McCarthy time. My father´s psychiatrist from Harvard Med. gave me the same spiel. My father asked me to talk to him before I got married..my father thought I might be using marriage to run..and maybe I was. I bought it, ladies..I bought it all..and I have ever since. So this is new to me and I need it explained..where does the control come in? I don´t see it.

P.S. My father went on to live for many years and travel around the world 2 or 3 times with my mom.. He died 20yrs later..so much for that crisis!

Both of parents were/are highly educated and so is my x-hubby, so I know that education is not a clear pass for anything..it can enrich your life, I think..but it guarentees nothing. There are all sorts of different "IQ´s" these days..a high Intelligence score certainly doesn´t also mean a high Social or Emotional IQ. I am so glad that there are some nuances in the scores today..