No one saw me in Vegas or heard from me because I have suffered a terrible loss.

I did not have any warning and it is devastating for me. I am going through the process of grief but I'll tell you that this one is so hard it is tempting to try to go into denial.

I know that denial is part of grief but I did not have a chance to you into it too far before it was right in my face reminding me every day.

I can't share the exact reason for my grief because, if it makes any sense, it is mine right now and I must keep it for me. I need to keep it close and hold it for myself right now because sharing the pain would make it too big and too real to deal with.

I am dealing with it with my husband and loved ones but to go public with it would be too hard at this time.

I have re-entered the public life I've lived and I am taking it slow. My audience is not large because I am limiting the size of the show I will do. I am limiting what my agent can do in the way of what shows she can book me to choreograph at this time as well.

This is because of my grief. I feel I must go slow as I venture out after being sick but more because of the loss I have suffered.

I'm not good at this. I lost the person I loved the most at the age of 23 and have not lost again until now. THAT grief, the one at 23 devastated me so deeply that I did not grieve until three years went by. I only tried to survive the loss, again, of the person I loved most in the world.

And so that is why I may sound strange or be gone here and there although I feel I can come back here so I did.

Thank you to my friends here who have been here all the time that I've been a member. I'll not forget you.

You will see me though, maybe in the press in a bit. Give it about six months to a year and maybe it will be out there again.

I'll stay though, because some of the women here are so very special.

Dancer9