I really don't know how to start this except to say I am irritated with my son and his wife.

I usually watch my grandson either Friday or Saturday night and he stays over. I do this to spend time with the grandson and to give his parents a break. I have done this since the baby was born. I have dropped everyting I am busy doing or changed plans when they needed me to watch the baby. He is now two years old. I have been the babysitter for them and watched him as a newborn when mommy was working.

Saturday was my daughter's birthday and I wanted to spend as much of the day with her as I could (this is normal for us) and my son knows this. He asked me Thursday afternoon if I was going to have the baby on Friday night and I said yes. Then Friday morning he called and asked if they could change it to Saturday afternoon and overnight. He wanted to bring the baby by between 2 -3 in the afternoon. I told him that wouldn't work since I had some things to do on Saturday for my daughter's birthday but I'd let him know for sure Saturday morning.

Saturday morning came and I called and talked with the DIL and asked her if they'd bring the baby to my home after the birthday party for friends children. Then I could have him overnight. She said that would be fine. So my sister, daughter and I went out for lunch for my daughter. On the way there my son called and was irritated because I was not there to get the baby. I reminded him of the conversation I had with his wife but he was mad, so because he didn't want to take his time after the party to bring the baby to my house so they could stay for an adult evening, I told him the babysitting would not happen because I told him Friday I would not be available that early in the day. I hung up and we arrived at the restaurant.

We were waiting for our lunches to arrive and he called my sister because I didn't hear my cell phone. She took the call outside and all he did was make charges against me because I didn't follow up with what I promised. Forgetting I had told him it was too early first, and then that his wife said they'd bring the baby over. Now there is a situation between us and he's not communicating with me.

Does anyone else get tired of this kind of stuff from their children or am I just too easy supplying them with a night out each week. I feel like I've been taken advantage of.

Its called SELFISHNESS and you did exactly the right thing. You do this for them out of kindness and believe me many grandparents DO NOT babysit EVER!!! Relax my friend, they need you and your generous services so this will all blow over, especially when they see what a babysitter, other than grandma, charges. LOL!!!! Kids are kids and some behavior never changes even when those kids have kids of their own. I might have a sit down heart to heart with those two parents however, it was wrong for him to trey to invlove other family members and he needs to hear that.

I don't have any grandkids yet so I can't respond. However, I bet this stuff oges on all the time. We have spoiled our kids rotten so they have high expectations of us.

I wouldn't let your blood boil for this. I woudl pick up the phone, tell him what's bothering you and get it off your mind. Be honest so he knows he knows how you stand. Good luck!

Also, just thought I'd share the the priest who married us told us we should never do the same thing with the same person on a regular basis - like have dinner with my parents every Sunday, or lunch with his mom every Saturday, etc. He said nothing should be on a regular schedule because someone always ends up getting hurt. We've stuck to it. It's been a good excuse through the years. HA! Blame it on the priest.

I agree with Dotsie. Calmly talk to him...may do some good, may not...it's hard to know how to deal with grown kids sometimes...it's hard to tell who's the more mature...the adult child or the grandchild...know what I mean?

Thanks Chatty, Dotsie and Dee for your thoughts. I've tried to call my son a couple of times at work but he was out of his office since the phone went to the fax line. I'll try again today. Maybe he'll be there.

Not sure if I want to discuss it with the DIL except she should have told me that they didn't want to bring the baby over instead of telling me it would be fine.

I hope it works out. I get tired of problems with the children. You know, they are really nice people, but when they think they are totally right it's hard to get them to see they aren't and it was such a small thing that they are upset about.

Kids and problems go hand-n-hand. That's life, I guess.
You're doing them a favor. I love what Dotsie and the others said. Good advice. Let DIL and son know how you're feeling. They need you. They'll come around. Don't worry your sweet, kind self about it.
Prayers and blessings,
jabber

sandpiper, I'd just talk to your son and let him tell his wife.

I think you all are right. She always tells me to come to her if I have a problem with her, but when I do, my son gets mad. It's a no win situation but I do feel better talking to my son about it.

Since it's Thursday I'd better try to get him on the phone again. I do get tired of this stuff. You'd think when they reach their 30's they'd know better than to be mad about such a trivial thing.

I'll keep you all posted. Thanks again.

Are you on for this weekend? That's when you'll hear from them?

Sandpiper,
If I have something that concerns both my son and my DIL, I speak to them both together. WHY? Because it eleviates the he said, she said syndrome. Each hears what I am saying and so there can be NO misunderstanding when only one is there and tries to repeat what was said to the other one. They may be 30 something in actual age, but mentally(?) Try still children!