Oh, yes, the 'menopot' - I hate it! I have always had what you so nicely called a rounded belly - it's more pronounced now. Even when I weighed 108 lb my belly wasn't flat!!

No, Dancer..I sort of feel that the period part of my life..reproduction etc..kinda shutdown really at 58 0r 59. Because that´s when the "aging" really got going..and I didn´t think of periods anymore..in any way..more or less. Eventho, I sometimes wonder if my wild mood swings, as also described by hotflashgal, are related to some hormal swings that I don´t know about? Or are they related to the moon cycle? Do I go sort of tense and out of balance when there´s a full moon out there? Our cook at the preschool, from Finland,swears that the full moon effects her moods and her sleep...

Just some more thoughts for you!

Some days I think my hormonal swings are driving me crazy....and it is a short drive!

I was lucky enough to be blessed with a 'breeze through' menapause, no swings of any kind...But the full moon does affect me terribly, my sleep becomes extremely erratic when the moon is full... I also am figidety, finding it hard to sit still during a full moon...we've had one the last three nights.

Now if my nails and teeth start to grow and I become hairy allo over, then I might worry but until then, I'll chalk it up the being sensitive to the universe. Howwlll!!!

I haven't lost my period,(I'm 51) it just keeps getting worse.
Heavy in fact so much so that I can't go to work on these days for fear of leakage. I'm usually up four times in the night having to change. Very frustrating.

I have no pain but the depression (not bitchiness) is so bad that I find I have no will to to do anything even to live. I spent the entire weekend doing nothing. Usually I'm busy out gardening, studying, house work etc. Also visiting with friends. During this time I totally isolate myself.

Now I feel guilty that the weekend is over and I've got nothing done.

I feel very depressed for a few days before and during my periond and then when it is almost over I get some relief. I'm on anti-depressants but they don't work during this time. I find the overwhelming depression quite scary.
Kate

Kate, do you find that the depression has gotten worse since your Dad died? I don't know if there's any data to back me up, but I strongly suspect that grief alters our entire system, not only mental and emotional, but physical as well. I know that my periods over this past year have been the worst ever, but don't know if it's age-related or just coincidental that it was also my worst emotional year as well. Do the two go hand-in-hand? I wonder if the grief alters our chemical makeup (i.e., seratonin, etc) so much that it then creates imbalances elsewhere in our body.

In my own journey through depression, I've found that sometimes it does help to know the reasons for the depression...the grief was overwhelming this past year, and the sadness almost intolerable at times. But knowing where it stemmed from somehow lessened the fear of it and allowed me to be more patient with myself, knowing that with time, this terrible grief would diminish and eventually pass into just a dull ache of missing.

It's interesting for me to realize as I write this that as my grief has subsided from that overwhelming tidal wave to this dull ache, so too have my periods eased off...they were off the charts as far as heavy flow and profound fatigue go throughout most of 2007, but the last two have been much less disruptive...just as my grief has become much less debilitating. Hmmm, coincidence?

Your grief is still fresh and overwhelming now. Maybe there is some correlation, maybe it's making your period-depressions feel even worse.

I still have night sweats and mood swings. And I'm at the beginning of the boomer age. For years I took Rejuvex. Then they took it off the market. Why I don't know? It helped me a lot, for many, many years. I know ladies older than I that still have hot flashes, etc. Like heartbreak, we learn to live with it. Good luck there, dancer. I do a great deal of exercises and have been able to keep my weight at a reasonable level. Therefore, I don't think that's a factor. Perhaps, some women hang onto menopause sympthoms and some don't?
Prayers and blessings,
jabber

Eagle Heart, you may have something there. I am under quite a bit of stress at the moment too which doesn't help.
My son being an addict, my job (company is for sale)
my house, my landlady is going to sell, and I just broke up with my long distance boyfriend without giving it much thought. Now I'm greiving from that too.

The grief from losing my Dad is huge and maybe because of that I get even more depressed.

This last period was so bad and I was so depressed that I was quite scared about my thoughts. I just wanted to check out. I may have to take a higher dose of anti-depressants during this time as I don't want to go through this again.
It's not fair to my kids to have a Mom who can hardly get out of bed. They worry the poor things and I don't want them to have to deal with this.

Eagle Heart, you have had so much loss in the last little while. Not sure how you do it but I guess we just have to deal with it.

I feel much better today and my period is now over so I really think hormones play a big part in this too.
Kate

Kate, I know - oh, how well I know - how very hard it is to keep one's head above those waters...but the bottom line is that you have to...if not for yourself, then for your children, because, to be blunt, if you do (or any parent does) "check out", it's almost a 100% guarantee that at least one of the children will do the same...so if for no other reason, you have to stay strong enough to crawl yourself through this for their sake so that they too will crawl themselves through, rather than check out.

I know this is going to sound impossible, but you just start doing it, and it will begin to work in you: start focusing on "what IS" good in your life; you might only be able to see the sun, a flower, or a beautiful tree, or the mountains in the distance - if only for a moment each day, focus deliberately on one good thing that IS good. I used to have to do it through my tears and clenched teeth, because just thinking about something "good" would send me sobbing back to bed because it reminded me of all that I'd lost and that didn't feel good at all.

Slowly but surely it began to take root. I used to really work hard on focusing on positive thinking and gratitude for even the smallest things - like clean water to drink, hot water to shower in, two good legs to help me roll out of bed, eyes that could see that flower in someone's garden, the women here (that's a biggie!) - it takes some work to turn our minds away from "what's not" (because it hurts so much that it's not there anymore) to see "what is", but you have to start somewhere. A wee thought each day will make more of a difference than you can imagine right now.

That's what kept me going, honestly, forcing myself to focus on my blessings (what IS) and ignoring all that "is not" anymore. Very difficult at first, because the losses are enormous and the emptiness unavoidable...but I just started filling that emptiness with those good things, the "What IS" instead of what wasn't and could never be again.

That doesn't mean to not grieve...it just means trying to counter the profound sadness with some measure of positive focus, if only for a few moments each day. Grief takes its time to work through, mine is nowhere near over...will it ever be over? I do allow myself to feel the pain and sadness, but I also practice gratitude and positive focusing everyday too.

Your life is so full of stress and difficulty right now...no wonder you're exhausted and depressed. But try not to let "what's not" be all that fills you...try to fill some of that emptiness with "what is and what's good", because there is good around you...people, nature, resources, us, God...and don't be afraid to find help through this, maybe a therapist, minister, grief counsellor, someone to help you through this rough patch of road you're on.

I'm keeping you in prayer and heart. I really care, and always hope good blessings will surround and comfort you.

katebcca,
I'm sorry for all you face. I just wanted to let you know that I heard your post.

Dancer