Mustang, one of the hardest things in life to deal with is to helplessly stand by watching the pain and suffering of a loved one. How many times did I bargain with God while at the bedside of my brother...take me, Lord, I'm the one who wants to come "Home"...

It just doesn't work that way. And that can be painful to accept, especially when we watch someone else suffer such pain and misery. You and I are alive because God does still need us - even when we can't see or figure out why or how - but as long as we continue to breathe, it's because we're meant to be here. We each have our story that nobody else can live or write, and we each have our own journey that only we can walk...and we each have our own ending to the story and journey that nobody else can finish for us. It's taken me a lot of loss to come to grips with the unfairness of life and death...or at least come to a grudging acceptance that life simply is not fair to all and that some deaths will never make sense.

My heart grieves with you in this agony...I know what a frightening, excruciating place it is...I'm keeping you and your step-father in heart and prayer.