I know I have no "real" input as I am not a mother, but from a daughter's point of view...and having LOST my mother at a young age (18 is young enough!) Anaiya's situation sounds very similar. Like a mommy "dying" over and over. It is very traumatic, I'd say, and will carry on for years. Her mother is playing "bouncy, bouncy" on her. She does not give a hoot about her rearing. And, how does SHE know it will not effect her? Did HER mother do the same EXACT thing to her? Has SHE walked in Anaiya's shoes??

She is a wife first, then a mother. The other things, Olympic stuff, really should be secondary, in my opinion. Your DIL is VERY selfish and wants it ALL. But when a child comes along, I hear the selfishness stops! (is that right, mothers?)

What does your husband think? Also, all the things I've read about when a situation arises regarding an in-law, allow your son to handle it. And, if he is not man enough (sorry to say that but it's how I see it) to be THE man in the household, the family unit will continue to suffer.

He married an equal rights kinda gal it seems. He'll have difficulty later on.

You never did say where your son is? Does he live near you? How often does he see this child??

In addition, I'd say if the mother wants to take her to camp, she Anaiya should go. Then she CAN do the mothering she thinks is best. If she goes from caregiver to caregiver, at least, maybe, your DIL can see her more often.