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#140300 - 02/02/08 09:52 AM Re: sex, hitting on strangers and other stuff [Re: orchid]
jabber Offline
Member

Registered: 02/17/05
Posts: 10032
Loc: New York State
The thing is, AIDS wasn't an issue when some of us were young. I had never heard of it, until Rock Hudson got the stupid stuff. If you're friends with someone, that's a different issue. And I understand not wanting to get financially tied-up. But that survey asked about jumping into bed with somebody the 1st time you met. That's what's scary, to me anyhow. Like O'Reilly says, "I could be wrong". But these days, hitting on strangers, freaks me out!!!!

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#140302 - 02/02/08 05:40 PM Re: sex, hitting on strangers and other stuff [Re: ladyjane]
gims Offline
Member

Registered: 01/16/07
Posts: 3404
Loc: USA
OK, I probably shouldn't participate, but I am anyway...

1) I'm with jabber... this question does NOT compute! There might be a pool of some casually active boomers, but as a whole, I think boomers might have an even less casual approach to sex. In my opinion, it is less than a driving force, if you will. It is more a bonus. Caution is the word du jour... which comes from boomers being wiser. The pockets of women who do have casual sex are probably in certain regions. Of course, I am not single, don't think like a single person and haven't been active outside my marriage - I still look, though, and even fantasize, but casual is something I'd never be.

2) lust/passion versus marriage - totally different realms to me... they can overlay one another, but when I picture myself with either, I see myself wearing different hats. The 53% rating may not just apply to singles. While marriage is nice and comfy sometimes, it still needs lust/passion, which is a natural sense of being for animals. Marriage, on the other hand, is legalistic and man made(sanctioned by God, for those who believe).

3) Dumb question, imo. It even heated me up a bit. It brings to mind men wooing to receive casual sex.

4) Advise: Spend a night with BOB (acronym?), get some rest, rethink the feeling in the morning.

5) Do boomers "hit." I think a new word needs to be coined for what boomers do... leave the hitting to the youngsters.

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#140303 - 02/02/08 06:34 PM Re: sex, hitting on strangers and other stuff [Re: gims]
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
FYI: I spoke with the journalist yesterday and told her I didn't agree, nor did several women from the forum community.

I delved a little deeper about the survey and she thought it was done in England. So would that make a difference? Any thoughts from our friends over the pond?

Also, it's not just boomer women, it's all boomers, which means men included. Funny, but I was assuming it was women only. I don't know why I assumed that. So does that change things?


Edited by Dotsie (02/02/08 06:36 PM)
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#140304 - 02/02/08 07:40 PM Re: sex, hitting on strangers and other stuff
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
Dotsie most men of ANY AGE would jump any bones that are moving, or might move, LOL!!!

FACT, men are pigs when it comes to sex. All want more than thay have or someone different. I have never seen a married man say no to a woman if they were sure they could get away with it. I speak from all the thousands of men I've spoken with through the years as a phone fantasist. Men and women are as different as night and day when it comes to SEX.


Edited by chatty lady (02/02/08 07:40 PM)
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#140305 - 02/03/08 07:44 AM Re: sex, hitting on strangers and other stuff [Re: chatty lady]
ladyjane Offline


Registered: 08/22/07
Posts: 1761
Loc: Southern Maine, USA
Well said, Chatty....plain, simple and to the point of this sad fact.
_________________________
If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane ~ Jimmy Buffett

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#140306 - 02/03/08 07:46 PM Re: sex, hitting on strangers and other stuff [Re: ladyjane]
Whirlwind Offline
Member

Registered: 01/18/05
Posts: 261
Loc: Atlanta, GA
Yep, they are all pigs when it comes to this.

I saw someone the other night, in town for a seminar we were both attending. We met a year ago at a similar event and had dinner as well. Like the first time, he wanted to "get busy" after dinner and I went home. Since this is a rare someone that I feel I could really like, I sent him an email after the weekend was over, saying that I wasn't a one-night-stand kind of girl, but did feel an attraction with him. And if he felt the same maybe we could get to know each other better. (After all, if I'd been him, after the way the evening ended, I'd have thought there was no interest on my part. I figure men aren't mind readers, so I'd lay the cards on the table in plain English).

I haven't heard back from him, so there's my answer. I was good enough for a roll in the hay (had I been interested), but not for anything else.

I don't date much at all, and this is the reason. Are there ANY good ones out there, or should I just give up? I've got to admit, I'm about ready to say to heck with it and just have some fun. That "would" have been a night to remember had I gone through with it.

Sigh...

Whirlwind

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#140308 - 02/04/08 04:45 PM Re: sex, hitting on strangers and other stuff [Re: ]
Dancing Dolphin Offline
Member

Registered: 03/06/06
Posts: 2529
Loc: Southern California
Maybe I live a sheltered life, or maybe I have just been lucky... but I must disagree. I do not believe all/most men are pigs and only want sex.

I must say I've been with the same man for 32 years, so I guess I don't have the experience on the scene like some of you might. But I just can't imagine that they are all that bad. Beat me with a wet noodle if you must, but I just had to disagree.

Kathy

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#140309 - 02/04/08 09:01 PM Re: sex, hitting on strangers and other stuff [Re: Dancing Dolphin]
katebcca Offline
Member

Registered: 07/09/05
Posts: 631
Loc: Victoria BC Canada
I don't agree either but from a single person's point of view it depends where and how you meet them.

There are many men out there that only want one thing. There are also men who are looking for a nice relationship but they are not easy to find.

To find the not so great ones, just go to the single sites and you will see lots of men over 50 who want 30 somethings or under even. They look at the internet like a candy store.

Have you ever looked at the women looking for men area though? I did and I have never seen so many woman dressed really provocative. It blew me away. Half naked some of them. So, it's not only the men.

There are some decent guys out there but they are hiding. They are not on single sites or going to single dances because they are not desperate. I think the best way to meet a decent guy is through friends or doing some activity you love.

I have been on my own for 12 years now, am currently dating someone from my past but.....I have not met many men over the years. The good ones are either taken or really hard to find.
Kate

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#140310 - 02/04/08 09:26 PM Re: sex, hitting on strangers and other stuff [Re: katebcca]
Whirlwind Offline
Member

Registered: 01/18/05
Posts: 261
Loc: Atlanta, GA
For what it's worth, I am not like that. I dress conservatively. I do not go to singles sites or dances, and I am not desperate.

The men I've met have been through doing activities that I love. And still they have all been "like that." Maybe because they've been conditioned to think that's what women want, who knows.

Please know I mean what I'm about to say with disrespect whatsoever. But those of you who have been married forever to the same man are VERY lucky. I pray that you never have to find out what it is like being single these days, because then you may truly understand what I'm talking about.

It is frustrating. And people wonder why I seem so much happier being alone.

Whirlwind

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#140311 - 02/04/08 10:40 PM Re: sex, hitting on strangers and other stuff [Re: Whirlwind]
katebcca Offline
Member

Registered: 07/09/05
Posts: 631
Loc: Victoria BC Canada
I should correct what I said about the desperate part. I don't think people who go to singles events are desperate. What I meant to say is that some men, sometimes the good ones, think they will seem desperate so they stay away from these events.

I've been to some singles events and did not like them. I met some really nice women there but no men. At least not any that I was interested in.

Your right, some married women are very lucky, but the grass is not always greener on the other side.

When I was married it was pure hell on many occasions. I longed to be single and now I am.

I would say the married women that are really happy and are in a good marriage based on respect, yes they are the lucky ones. But you can be happy and single, it's all how you look at it.

It is very difficult to meet men when you are over 40, at least for some. I have found it difficult but others I know have not. I'm very picky as I have trust issues so I have put walls up.

My current guy knows me well and has managed to break down the walls and that is because we have a history.

Kate

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