Some people stop really listening if we push the point...you did say R.worked late on the night you posted.So he will have had little time to process the situation.Perhaps its a good idea to prioritise what are your concerns and concentrate on the most important..The here and now.
Is there any chance to get away together .away from his computer .I know of other women who say their husbands come to bed late because of computer use.
You deserve to be happy and a short break at the weekend may be an idea.
Have a good week at work..
MA