Anne327, I think, at present, that the underlining issue for me is the lack of sharing.

But I do hear you about keeping him at home and away from bars,etc. He loves being at home..as does my 18yr old. The latter can just sigh with relief when he comes in and say, "Ohhh how nice to be at home finally and totally chill". So, as a couple, we are doing something right. Creating an atmosphere of complete relaxation and acceptance is important to me!
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"some sacred place.."