Sues..just a thought..of course you can and should do things without your husband when he doesn´t want to do something. But, sometimes you might kinda want to do something with him..for a special reason..like maybe seeing that Russell Crowe film together..and it makes you tired and sad that he puts everything into little boxes (like "chick flick". I mean..actually..seriously..what IS a "chickflick"?.. Maybe you sort of hoped that you and your husband would "share" things together..to some extent. You mentioned that he spent almost the whole day in bed, watching TV.. hmmm....????

I am divorced after 32yrs of marriage and 5 kids. I divorced my husband in 2000. I am doing ok today. Two of my adult kids have had a rough time that probably started because of the divorce. I found this VERY difficult as I didn´t have this "safe place" (BWS forum) to go to then. Nobody warned me that my kids would have problems of the sort they had. My kids understood why I was divorcing their father..HOWEVER..today I can see that perhaps their rough time was necessary for them personally. My 2 kids are still in therapy..but we are processing together..and learning each in our way. I think the whole divorce thing was necessary for them..for me..maybe even for my former husband.

I am not expressing myself very well..but maybe you get the gist of what I am saying?