Sues....if I may say this. Since children are involved, I say DON'T DO IT! It messes their whole life up!!

I am a stepmother of three children...they are adults. (Please see my post under Step-parenting about being "jilted") You never know if, later on, you remarry. Then you have to deal with the junk...who do the kids decide to see on holidays, birthdays, special occasions? ONE parent will get slighted...and hurt.

BELIEVE me when I say it's horrible! And my DH and his X had a good divorce over 24 years ago! But as the kids get older, then there's grandkids. Then the kids get to feeling badly (or not) if once parent is invited and another is not.

It seems you are involved in much...if you can live with your OWN happiness, not having to depend on HIM for your happiness, stay to help your kids thru life. It's NOT a good thing for them, even as they get older. They are effected their ENTIRE lives ie: engagements, showers, weddings etc....then down the family tree it goes.

My goal is to help save any family I can of the devastating effects of divorce. NO ONE handles it well, even if you "think" they do. I feel so badly that my step-kids do not have their parents together. I've even been bold enough to say that, if I die before my DH, I'd love to see them remarry JUST so the kids can have a "normal" family life again.

Just my three cents for what they are worth!

We actually had a great talk the other night. Very honest. I brought up separation just to ask "Is this something you want to consider?" He said "Absolutely not. Not now with the kids being so young." He seems to want to make it all work and I do realize that I need to change too. I am going to really take a look at myself, the situation and him and see what I need to do. BUT, I am going to continue making myself happy!

Well, Sue, at least you had "the talk" and found out his feelings. I say...sure, take a look inward and see what's going on deep inside of you and YES, most definitely, keep making yourself happy. It does no one any good if you feel stuck or unfulfilled. Good for you!

Sue, any update? Curious to see if things have improved since your honest communication session. Let us hear from you.

Hello sues,
Divorce is never easy with children involved. In order for you to be the best person you can be as well as the best mom, it is important to be truthful with yourself.

When I divorced 12 years ago, my children were the same ages as your children. Once divorced, I did everything I could to grow in all areas of my life- body, mind and spirit for myself and my children. Today my daughter is 27 years old and a Doctor of Audiology and my son graduated from Bentley College in Boston and is very successful. I am a proud mom. As for me, I have the opportunity to give back and work with women all over the world before, during and after divorce.

I just checked out your site Happy Wednesday. It's very well done, and I'm sure it's supportive for the ladies contemplating divorce. And bravo for raising your children to become such successful adults.
Hope to see you more around here.
Hannelore

Hi hi, Happy Wednesday such great advice. Glad to meet and welcome you to our home of wonderful women.