Sue, It's always important that you have a life of your own away from the relationship. If the other person doesn't want to go somewhere, of course you go!

I have the sense that you are trying to control this man. You said:

So it's at the point where I just don't know how to act, how to be, to make him not be angry at me.

All you can do is put in boundaries for appropriate behavior. If he is angry with you, that is truly his issue. It's his anger. If you feel you are at fault, apologize and move on. If not, don't try to "fix" his anger. It's his. The more you try to fix him, the less responsibility he has to take for his own actions.

Also, women have a habit of using questions to tell their spouses what to do. It drives men nuts. You said:

I asked him if we should put a towel down on the floor of the laundry room floor because the kids were playing in the snow and coming in and out

I'm not sure why you asked him that at all. If you were caring for the laundry room, then put the towel down without asking. If not, it's his job. The question you asked will sound like a criticism to a man. Not to another woman necessarily, but definitely to a man. They hear us differently.

Boundaries are important in any relationship, particularly marriage. You've taught him how to treat you. So, if you don't want to be yelled at during a discussion, you get to state that boundary (when you are calm) and enforce it. For example, you might say, "It destresses me when you raise your voice when we have an argument. The next time it happens, I'll let you know that it is going on. If it continues, I will end the discussion by leaving the room."

Then do it.

....getting off of soap box and lugging it away....

Big Hugs, Sue! It's tough.