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#136777 - 01/06/08 08:01 PM
Re: Husbands who don't listen!
[Re: Princess Lenora]
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Member
Registered: 06/27/05
Posts: 2561
Loc: Alabama
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I've found that the best way to get my husband to listen to me is to find a time when he's not distracted by anything and is looking at me in the eyes. It's normally when I'm blabbing on and on in needless detail that he gets the deer in the headlight look. For men whom size seems to matter, the less said the better they like it....go figure.
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Dee "They will be able to say that she stood in the storm and when the wind did not blow her away....and surely it has not.....she adjusted her sails" - Elizabeth Edwards
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#136778 - 01/06/08 08:32 PM
Re: Husbands who don't listen!
[Re: Dee]
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Member
Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 3503
Loc: Colorado
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Dee, my husband is always looking at something. If it is not the TV, it is the computer. He has to have constant visual simulation, as if I weren't enough. I know he was a kid who was plopped in front of the TV, like the TV was a babysitter. I worked with my husband. If I couldn't find him in the restaurant where we worked, I'd go to the lobby, and there he would be, watching TV. He will stand and watch TV. When I met him, I did not have a TV and he said, "How do you live?" Like I needed a TV to live and breathe!
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#136779 - 01/06/08 08:38 PM
Re: Husbands who don't listen!
[Re: Princess Lenora]
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Member
Registered: 06/27/05
Posts: 2561
Loc: Alabama
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Wow...that's a lot of TV...Tell him he can watch TV but you control his on and off button...if you get my drift...:)
_________________________
Dee "They will be able to say that she stood in the storm and when the wind did not blow her away....and surely it has not.....she adjusted her sails" - Elizabeth Edwards
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#136781 - 01/06/08 10:07 PM
Re: Husbands who don't listen!
[Re: Louisa]
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Member
Registered: 06/27/05
Posts: 2561
Loc: Alabama
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Louisa..thank you so much...it was a labor of love and I need to add Christmas photos one day. For some reason my music quit playing and I need to reload it...gotta find time for that, too. I glad you looked at it and I'm glad you enjoyed it. I, too, looked at your site and was so drawn into your stories and life. You have an incredible writer and we're so lucky to be a part of that.
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Dee "They will be able to say that she stood in the storm and when the wind did not blow her away....and surely it has not.....she adjusted her sails" - Elizabeth Edwards
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#136783 - 01/07/08 09:27 AM
Re: Husbands who don't listen!
[Re: jabber]
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Queen of Shoes
Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 6123
Loc: Arizona
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He doesn't blame me but calls my name like I'm supposed to know how to fix it!
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If it doesn't feel good, don't do it twice. www.eadv.netBoomer Queen of Shoes
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#136784 - 01/07/08 10:22 AM
Re: Husbands who don't listen!
[Re: Dianne]
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Member
Registered: 06/27/05
Posts: 2561
Loc: Alabama
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Sounds like you're not in a happy marriage Bonnierose. I'm so sorry you're going through that. Marriage is about respect and love, not the other way around. I'd put my foot down and let him know he isn't allowed to speak to me like that...and if he does, there's consequences...have you considered marriage counseling?
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Dee "They will be able to say that she stood in the storm and when the wind did not blow her away....and surely it has not.....she adjusted her sails" - Elizabeth Edwards
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#136786 - 01/07/08 12:24 PM
Re: Husbands who don't listen!
[Re: Edelweiss]
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Registered: 08/22/07
Posts: 1761
Loc: Southern Maine, USA
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Bonnie, it's happened here in my home but I DO believe I've gotten my message across. I used to feel blamed for most everything and rather than react in a good way, I'd just cry. A few weeks ago we finally had it out. We've had snowstorms...one right after another. One night he had to pull our classic car out of the garage and park it temporarily so he could get the plow truck in to fix a malfunction. It was cold, we were already stressed but had had a fun afternoon and evening so far working together. He got in the Hawk and backed in around the corner next to a waiting old relic of a VW (waiting for restoration, that is) and he hit the VW with the rear bumper. Nothing happened to the Hawk, thankfully , but the VW's rear quarter panel got quite a dent. Guess what? It was MY fault because I didn't use common sense and know he couldn't see where he was going...and get behind the car and direct him! Rather than simply asking, because I didn't KNOW, he went into the blame game. Yeah, we were already stressed. I went straight into the house without a word. Next thing I know he came in and put his arm around me making all nice. What a greeted him with was a non-tearful, nice but very firm lecture on how I would not be blamed for another thing here because it hurts, it's disrespectful and it's time he owned up for his own mistakes. Since then, he's even brought it up about how it's unfair that he does that and we've analyzed it a bit but he's trying. It was so bad that every time it happened I'd come into the house and plot my way out of this whole marriage. The rest of it is very improved and most of the time we're happy, have great communication and a lot of fun together. But when he gets stressed (which has been a lot since about September...lots of things going wrong, etc.)he would get very sarcastic and blame shift. If he even comes close again I won't hesitate to remind him. I cannot live like that. It was making me a nervous, jumpy person. Sometimes we have to get very real with men and shake them up a little for them to get a clear message.
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If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane ~ Jimmy Buffett
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