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#133842 - 12/05/07 06:57 PM
Your views and experiences
[Re: dancer9]
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Registered: 04/15/07
Posts: 2411
Loc: Arizona
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From Lady Jane, "Oh, I really don't want to hijack this thread...but...that, Dianne & dancer is my concern...the hiding. They...well HE says "all guys do it" but goes out of his way to hide it. I don't know why because he also knows how computer savvy I am. He got sooo angry when I called him on it...again...that he flipped over the monitor and claimed I attacked him verbally. Actually I was trying to discuss it like an adult. He says he'll put a computer in his garage just for "it." How does an otherwise sweet, sensitive man go crazy like this? I haven't brought it up for awhile because it means a night of fighting and there's no fight left with me. I want to talk like an adult or not say anything at all. I've seen some of this stuff and all he ever views is bondage...sick, violent, abusive things done to women. It's so awful and it makes me feel numb inside. Not sure what to do."
Who is this, Lady Jane? Is this your man? If so, I want to say first how sorry I am that you have to deal with this.
I see P as an addiction for many men. To say they cannot live without it and will change their lives to have it in their lives is to me, an addiction.
I don't know why men do this but I know it is hurtful to women and their self esteem! I know a lot of p is violent towards women.
Have you seen what kind of p he looks at, Lady? ( Opps, I see it is bondage.) My feeling about a man looking at bondagae is that he has power issues with women! It is my first feeling, anyway! To want to see us tied up and abused is like a need to have power over women. Maybe he feels powerless? However, there is violence in that as well. It would seem it might have something to do with his own sexuality, MAYBE. All this is a "maybe."
Did he move to the garage or are you living with it? How often does he look at it?
dancer
Edited by jawjaw (12/05/07 07:58 PM)
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#133843 - 12/05/07 07:15 PM
Your views and experiences
[Re: dancer9]
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Member
Registered: 03/22/05
Posts: 4876
Loc: Canada
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Well, I have very strong opinions on it - and great fear of the longterm ripple effect. I think that p is an insidious spiderweb of silent but deadly darkness that is slowly creeping into epidemic proportion. I think its real danger is that it increasingly numbs the viewer to the dehumanization of women (and children - in fact, all human life) and by the sheer numbers of those addicted to it, gives implicit permission to take that dehumanization into the "real world".
I think that there are men who might never have chosen the behaviours and actions that they did if they hadn't believed that those were sanctioned in their minds - and where do they get that sanction? By watching others - an ever-increasing number of others - doing the same thing. Perhaps there's a cyber-gang mentality at play, I don't know, but I think that the more they're exposed to, the more normal it becomes and the more other men that they know are participating, the more permissible it must also become in their minds.
I think that men, especially younger men who play violent video games from an early age and then "graduate" to full-scale p, eventually become dangerously desensitized and incapable of separating the fantasy world from the real world.
Edited by Eagle Heart (12/05/07 07:37 PM)
_________________________
When you don't like a thing, change it. If you can't change it, change the way you think about it.
(Maya Angelou)
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#133844 - 12/05/07 07:21 PM
Your views and experiences
[Re: Eagle Heart]
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Member
Registered: 03/22/05
Posts: 4876
Loc: Canada
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Just a quick aside here, perhaps for JJ and/or Dotsie...we know that BWS is one of the top hits for Google searches. Are we opening ourselves up to an onslaught of spam and unwanted attention here with this subject line? I'm just wondering if we would need to consider changing the topic line to something that won't show up for anyone googling "p..."
Oh YUCK! I just googled the word just to see what would happen. The good news is that BWS didn't show up (yet), the bad news is everything else that did. ARGHHHHH.
Edited by Eagle Heart (12/05/07 07:42 PM)
_________________________
When you don't like a thing, change it. If you can't change it, change the way you think about it.
(Maya Angelou)
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#133847 - 12/05/07 07:35 PM
Re: Your views and experiences
[Re: Eagle Heart]
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Member
Registered: 03/22/05
Posts: 4876
Loc: Canada
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Maybe we could substitute the "p" word for, well, the "p" word. I'll go back and change mine.
Edited by Eagle Heart (12/05/07 07:36 PM)
_________________________
When you don't like a thing, change it. If you can't change it, change the way you think about it.
(Maya Angelou)
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#133849 - 12/05/07 07:45 PM
Re: Your views and experiences
[Re: dancer9]
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Member
Registered: 03/22/05
Posts: 4876
Loc: Canada
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Dancer, it's a good question! We just know from experience that we have to be creative in how we phrase ourselves in these kinds of discussions so that we don't attract unwanted attention.
_________________________
When you don't like a thing, change it. If you can't change it, change the way you think about it.
(Maya Angelou)
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