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#133086 - 12/10/07 12:17 PM
Re: Dad's & daughters...
[Re: jabber]
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Member
Registered: 07/09/05
Posts: 631
Loc: Victoria BC Canada
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Thank you Jaw Jaw. I have been told more than once that I have the patience of Job.
I learned through counselling, and I've been to many courses, that every negative thought or action comes back to you. That not forgiving only hurts you. This is so true. I remember when I first left my abusive cheating ex husband I was so angry but the anger I had did not affect him at all, only me. So, I forgave him and my life has been so much better for it. I have to be clear that I forgave him, I did not forget because we need to protect ourselves from further abuse.
I have a pleasant relationship with him now for the sake of my kids, but my guard will always be up when it comes to him.
This goes for my Mom too. I forgive her but don't forget as I have to keep my boundaries with her in order to protect my spirit (soul)
Some people think by forgiving that we are saying the abuse or whatever is ok. I disagree, forgiving just means you've let go of the hurt and pain and by doing so find inner peace. I acknowledge that the person is who they are and are on their own journey. They will have to deal with their behaviour in their own way.
As for my Mom. She has to deal with herself and I know that she is not a happy person inside. Instead of anger I am trying to be accepting of her letting her deal with her own issues or not if she chooses not to.
Bonnierose, that is very true about father's and daughter bonds. I now have pictures all over my house too and believe that my Dad is with me, I just can't see him at the moment. As in part of this poem, "Death is nothing at all I have only slipped away into the next room"
Kate
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#133088 - 12/15/07 07:52 PM
Re: Dad's & daughters...
[Re: chatty lady]
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Member
Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 3503
Loc: Colorado
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Well, Kate, I am so sorry for you losing your dad and not having your mother be supportive, caring, or compassionate. You sound like a very insightful woman. It's so sad when we have to create walls or put our guard up to protect ourselves from the cruelty of others. And as for what Chatty asked above, consider the source, she's seen a lot of dogs, and she says yours is the cutest!
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#133090 - 12/17/07 01:02 PM
Re: Dad's & daughters...
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Member
Registered: 07/09/05
Posts: 631
Loc: Victoria BC Canada
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Chatty, My dog is a mix between a Chinese Hairless (there are two types one has hair one does not) My dogs mother had no hair, accept on her feet, ears and tail. The Dad was a Maltese. She is a wonderful little dog and is quite and sweet. But, she doesn't care for dogs, as she prefers cats. I have three. Her hair gets really long. I had just cut it all off before this photo. She looks cute here, like a little lamb but when her hair is long she looks like some kind of hairy beast especially when she bares her teeth, only when a dog has the nerve to sniff her.The Chinese Hairless can have a mean streak. I have always had large dogs with even temperments so she was a challenge when out in the park with other dogs. I have to explain to the other dog owners about her personality. Very embarassing and the other dogs in the park just want to say hi to her, she just growls. She is my little girl though, spoiled, sleeps in my bed and loves blankets so she has one on the couch, on the bed etc. Can you tell my children are teenagers now and I feel the need to nurture:-)The dog is now my baby. My kids tell me I am going to be one of those weird old ladies that has 50 cats and dogs. They are probably right. I feed all the ferral cats, find homes for the ones I can catch, feed the racoons (I have four that come to my house everynight and practically knock on the door), the squirrels etc. I just love animals. Kate
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#133092 - 12/18/07 07:34 AM
Re: Dad's & daughters...
[Re: ]
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Registered: 08/22/07
Posts: 1761
Loc: Southern Maine, USA
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I just have to add this story. In the 90's in my husband's "other life" he had a raccoon from the time it was a baby. It lived in his garage...he had an upstairs band room (for his band at the time) and the raccoon had many comforts there. Then he went in the house. He talks now about how the raccoon would get into the silverware drawer at night and all the noise he'd make! He lived in a rural setting so the raccoon could be free and learn how to live in the wild but always came home daily. After a while, the raccoon started staying away for longer periods and my husband would catch sight of him now and then. I guess he felt the call of the wild and moved on for a mate, etc. But the stories and photos are hilarious!!
_________________________
If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane ~ Jimmy Buffett
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#133094 - 12/18/07 12:35 PM
Re: Dad's & daughters...
[Re: ]
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Registered: 08/22/07
Posts: 1761
Loc: Southern Maine, USA
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Anne, I can try. His "other life" photos have been gone through and I don't know what/how much he has saved in the process, but I'll ask.
_________________________
If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane ~ Jimmy Buffett
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