Celtic,
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to tell my story. This was so kind of you. It is a long and hard story and I would not subject the forum to it but I can say somethings about me that pretty much sum it up.

I have PTSD, severe. I was a very abused child whose story Oprah Winfrey wanted when it started to come out in my career. I had a record setting abusive childhood but a wonderful grandfather who served as a buffer and example of love for me during it.
I had the best treatment available for it, 12 years of therapy and some of it at Sierra Tucson's abuse program which is one of the best of it's kind. I started having almost no memory of my childhood as I had blocked it out and when I was finished regaining my memory, I had most of it.
I could not have even told you the schools I attended! One blocks out time when they are abused as children and I did so.

I was beaten with almost any weapon, left with bruises and cuts, and this occurred almost daily. I was hit, punched, kicked, almost buried alive and even hunted once like an animal.
Post Tramatic Stress Disorder, PTSD is what most are coming back from Iraq with. It is a complex group of symptoms resulting from severe trauma.

I was a murder witness. I worked undercover with the feds against the KKK. I was involved in trying to change law so that a person could sue their abuser many years later if their memory came back when they were much older. The law only allowed, at that time, three years to sue your abuser or press charges. Now, some states have a longer period of time. A child of 5, for example, cannot be expected to sue their parent in three years, or seven, for that matter! We were trying to change law here in Arizona.

When I was a child I witnessed murder and ended up testifying about it when I was an adult. This brought up some very bad memories and then memories followed those and on and on.

My sister and I teamed up in treatment to help each other remember, deal with and validate our pain. It is the book I have the offer on and it is why Oprah called me to appear on her show.

I was a dancer and singer and working heavily at the time and did not want to become famous for being abused so I put things regarding that on hold.

Again, I had a remarkable grandfather who was loving and did his best to try to intervene on my behalf as much as possible.

I want to say this too:
Abuse happens to children of all kinds. I was raised in a very wealthy family. I had violin lessons, tennis lessons, dance lessons and riding lessons, etc... I grew up on a ten acre estate that was paid for and my parents never made a morgage payment in their lives.My parents were young, attractive and dressed well. My father had modeled in his youth and my mother was a known beauty. My mother never worked a day in her life. I hung out in country clubs and belonged to exclusive clubs that are there for the wealthy to belong to and to be spoiled while there. By all accounts, as a straight A student growing up how I did, I was not the "type," one thinks of as being beaten until I had belt marks and cuts on my legs and arms! It happens. Look for it. It happens to all sorts of children and if ONE person had EVER approached me and asked me if I were being abused, I would have told them and been saved. No one asked, not even tennis coaches where my little legs had obvious bruises and marks all over them! Ask a child. Get involved. Please try to intervene in an abused child's life and never assume they do not want to leave their family!

If anyone wants to talk about this subject, please feel free to PM me.

Thanks for reading and Celtic, thank you so much.

dancer

Dancer, your work with the American Pain Foundation will be useful to you and others.

I guess 2 comments to your summary autobiographical points:

*Maybe one day we will meet. But since I am not part of your past dancer, I'd rather begin on present and future interests. Your past is part of you but doesn't need to be a basis to define new fruitful friendships.

*Some of us have (and hope to) never experience much (or any) physical abuse. (Probability is always abit there later....since elderly can get beaten up too.) However some of us probably feel our own other problems/encounters with bad times, are not necessarily typically experienced by the majority of this forum.

I do feel this way at times on this forum. In the area of depression, it can become quite complex in bicultural families where differences in values (old vs. new), shift in power (children who master English language, can wield some power over parents at times, in dealing with outside world), expectations, assimilation pressures, problems of adequate bilingual language fluency and family misccommunication/gaps..can create some family minefields.

But it is....incredibly true if a family has survived with its family members who have experienced depression, the family bond is much stronger and more loving.

AT least in my family, this is true.

Dancer thank you for telling your storie and i hope you have peace and healling from those times. I also agree abose happens in all types of familie to all diffrent types of people.

ORCHID depression, it can become quite complex in bicultural families END QUOT do you think it necassarie for insider cultural experinces on behalk of the counseller to make it easier in some way? even though you were counselled at uni.

ANN327, gess the horrors of what the troops are seeing has a lot more costs (not just financial) to the countrie (any countrie)than just the finanical pressure of the war machines. Troops are just people too (i know, obviouse) despite the tranning and thats what can't be tranned out of them.

That's so sad, Anne. There are record rates of dissertion as well according to my husband, who is full career retired military. (Coast Guard and DEA too.) He said that the multable tours over there are too much for them. It used to be that you do one tour, and you knew if you survived you didn't have to go back. Now, it's up to 4 tours. He said that for the first time, because of the medical care available on the sight, we are having record numbers of vet's with limbs lost. They apparently get to them so fast when they are injured that they are taking pieces of them to help them survive so it is a new kind of veteran. It upsets him greatly to see these young men treated this way and all his friends feel the same way. My husband could still be called to serve, although he is retired, he is young enough to be called and still technically under contract. The only thing I think that has saved him is that he was Navy, and lent out to other branches, and this is not a Navy war. Still, they are starting to train the Navy for ground war. They want to help replace troups on the ground.
dancer

i think that what you have said is fair enough orchid. Not sure why some people heer would take exeption to what you have said, as far as i am concerned its stating some facts and world/cultural situasions as they are.

On second languages i got a little experinces into that as i lived in a no-english speeking countrie for a yr or so, i learned a bit of language but it was tough, tiring and i mist a lot of the sutilties of counversasion. if i had to do anything romotlie offical it was hell, i could hardlie get a bank account opend.

thanks for all you have said orchid.

Orchid,
Could you elaborate a bit on your thoughts? If you don't
feel taking the time to do that, that's fine too.
dancer

Orchid,
I see you have elaborated here on how you feel. I do not take exception to your statements regarding race. I do not "pass," for white and am an Italian in looks. No one ever has thought of me as "white," although we Italians must check the "Caucasion," box on a form. I do not like checking that box because I am treated as a minority in many places.
In the mid-west I am considered very "dark." I also hear comments about the mob, etc.... I was affected by being non-white even as a girl playing tennis in state tournaments! I was the only girl with dark hair.
Italians are a breed that is mixed. Africa invaded Italy aned so did many other countries so we run the gamet of black hair and brown eyes as I have, to light blonde hair and blue eyes as my brother has! I have a sister with red hair and hazel eyes and another sister with my hair color and eye color but darker skin! None of us have the same coloring.
People always ask me "what I am." I usually get guesses that are Italian or French, which is what I am. Still, I am asked what I am. An anglo is not, unless it is what sort of country they originated from. I am asked because of my looks.
I could go on and on about race making a difference but I just wanted to tell you that I "got it." Also, my closest friend is Chinese American.
dancer

You're right, Anne. These new injuries we are seeing from IED's (Improvised explosive devises)are tragic and unique to this war. I think they are heart breaking.

I get an opportunity from time to time to talk to those who go over because of my husband. Sometimes they have scary feelings. Some do not want to live if they are hurt by an IED and try to make deals with their friends to well...help them not have to live, "that way." It is sad to hear but they mean it! Some are so very tired of being deployed over and over that they think in ways that my husband's generation never did. We are creating such a different type of disabled vet. My husband is very concerned for this type of vet because of the repeated beatings of going over and over to the front and because the National Gaurd is going and they did not sign up for this! PTSD abounds when they are finished with one tour and he says that the councilors will do anything to get you back out there, which they did to him when he was active duty. He once had to see a psychologist and she recommended he be deployed ASAP! She basically told him to pull up his boot straps and get on with it!
Imagine what they are telling these soldiers.

dancer