Yes, badly right now. I was moved from my "site" and have lost touch with the parent friends that I made. I haven't even posted on this site, becasue I didn't want to bring anyone else down.

Boy, am I down. I feel like I've lost all of my friends. i just don't feel at home at the new site. Many of the parents speak a different language.

Sorry to pop in like this. I just didn't want anyone to know how I was feeling. Just thought I'd add this because as bad as it makes other members of your family feel, those of us who suffer from depression or other disorders feel guilty for making all of our friends and family feel this way.

The guilt piles on top of how you are feeling (at least for me) and it feels unsurmountable.

Speaking for me and all who go through these crisis, we don't mean to make you feel bad.

Emily in Maryland

Eagle,

I just had to respond. I'm in a big down again. This scares me. I thought it was gone from my life.

I'll keep in mind what you said about not letting depression define my life.

It sure feels bad right now, though. I'm in touch with my Dr. and my social worker.

I never ever thought I'd feel like this again. I really didn't.

Love to all who are struggling so much.

Emily in Maryland

Orchid,
I think it is important to point out that those who are abused as children have not just two choices in rearing children. One does not either become an abuser or decide to do just the opposite and perhaps, become too lax of a parent and let them get away with murder!

With good, intensive cognitive therapy, a person can over come their abuse and even become more aware of those problems people who have had "perfect childhoods," have that show. Everyone carries baggage from their childhood as no parent is perfect. After much hard work on yourself, you find yourself seeing not only your own issues but those of others as well, even those who consider themselves "well and normal."
We need to give credit to those who both work with those who are abused for the "cure," they can effect as well as those who work on themselves and become, for the most part, "cured."
This does happen. We must take the stigma out of mental illness and abuse in the home and stop using it as a blanket exuse for those who abuse. I've seen plenty of abusive parents who claim to have perfect childhoods! It starts somewhere!
Those of you who are working on yourself with therapy, medications and other self help tools, take heart, you can be "okay," and a better parent than many!
I have always heard that I am a good, even great parent. Though I was an abused child, I did the work. I was able to raise children with both civilized discipline as well as love from the deepest part of my being!
I am a proud mother, but I am also proud of myself for being a SURVIVOR of child abuse and one of the winners.

We can over come and people do every single day in treatment.

dancer 9

Thanks Orchid, for letting me get this in print here! Your post motivated me to stand up and get on this soapbox! I'm sure you did not mean that there are limited choices for abused children.

Emily,
I'm sorry for the way you are feeling and I hope you feel "at home," soon!
dancer9