Hi Meredithbead, thanks for your input I have been getting my kids to do more,. but they are as busy as I am my son works and go's to collage and my dauger is in high school with all honer classes so when she gets home she is up to her ears with home work, both of my kids are pertty much taking care of them self but I still do a lot for them. As for my husben well I do blame my self I have always done everything for him and now that I am not feeling well I wish he would pick up the slack but he just dont get it. I am not sure if I am in that ( typical Mexican family situation -- man is macho) that you refere to since my husben is not mexican he is white, and in his family his mom and dad worked together as a team. And in my family yes my dad was a macho man but he helped my mom he cooked and even taught her how to cook. I do feel that I am in my mom's shoes she was very devoted to her kids and husben and always put them first, she took care of my dad till the day he passed away, always catering to him, some times that was good and sometimes bad. but I could go on, on how proud I am of my mother, but thats not why I am here, I know my husben has needs and thats ok but I wish for once he could put his emotions aside and understand were I am comming from. I have always been a postive person, out going rarley get upste with family and friends but latley everything gets to me, I get to the point were I cant control my sadness or I feel ansy. I do hope that this forum helps me deal with everything I am going threw and helps me deal with it so I dont take it out on the ones I love.