Has anyone here come close to their own death? If so, did you change because of it?
I ask because a bit of time ago, I came very close. I did change, I know, but the changing is not complete. For example: I am not afraid of much now. I found that I was much braver and likely to speak out. Again, I know I am not yet finished dealing with it and changing because of it.

Did anyone have this experience and if so, can you share with me your feelings after recovery and joining life again?

Thank you very much,
Dancer9

I had a car wreck that almost took me out. I can remember being in the car and saying to myself, "so this is how it ends." I was so sad because I wanted to live. And live I did. I had almost everything broken on my left side and have pain during bad weather, and sometimes just because.

But change me it did. I love more, I love harder, and I do what I WANT TO DO. I'm more outspoken, but I'm also more gentle and more kind, compassionate and loving. It made me a better person. So something good does come from bad.

During that same time frame, my Daddy was dying, and my Mother had breast cancer. I had also quit smoking. So a lot of things were going on for me.

I have a long way to be the person God intended me to be, but I can guarantee you one thing, if I don't make it, it won't be for lack of trying.

I would love to know of your own experience if you feel like sharing.

Yes..I had my bowel perfortated by a procedure and then had peritonitis in 1984.Yes my life changed and there was a before and after.With hindsight that time became a gift.Only another survivor will understand.
Belief me it was a fight.
Mountain ash

Did any of you close to death, see the white light? Doctors who have studied patients with near-death experiences, found many saw the white light.. the white light evokes a happy feeling, drawing a person in further..before one pulls back, realizing....later they nearly died.

I'm not sure my experience qualifies as near death. I did get hit by a car as a pedestrian when I was 16 yrs. old. I was pushed down in snow by a car running a red light...in intersection. Ironically accident was in front of a major life insurance company building.

Was on my way to school. After examined by emergency services at hospital..I rested at home for rest of day..in deep shock with a raging headache. Probably due to immense relief and shock either I could have been disabled/seriously injured.

I was hit by a Pinto car. If you are hit hard enough by a small car, your body could be thrown up on top of the hood of the car. I was not.

THis experience did 2 things: 1.I had great difficulty learning how to drive a car. SHortly I gave up my hard-earned driver's license. I simply was not comfortable. That was almost 30 yrs. ago.

2. I'm a pretty cautious cyclist that observes traffic rules. I don't weave in and out of cars on a road, etc.

But appreciation of my own life and good health, happened about 10 years later..when I began working at hospital for spinal cord injured patients, many paralyzed for life due to accidents or their own stupid actions.

mountain Ash,
I would love to know how it affected you.You are such a wonderfully spiritual person...
All of your post have this calm beauty about them.
dancer

Without experiencing a ND, one can only wonder. My mom talks of actually dying twice in her lifetime. During one of the experiences, she claims she was given the option of staying or coming back. She chose to come back because she had so many children that she thought needed her.

I'd say that I would like such an experience, but then on the flip side that wish sounds pretty scary!

When Dancer started this thread, she said, "I know I am not yet finished dealing with it and changing because of it." I say very little to people who know me now and not then regarding my own issue(s) unless it directly relates and can be helpful. I'm not changing because of it either. On March 28, 1998 I was sitting in one of those wonderful coastal Maine seafood places with my husband and another couple. I had had three TIA's in two weeks but no doctor was deeply concerned enough. During dinner I started to feel as though I was in another place, a dream-like state. I remembered nothing more for 5 days. Later I was told that I began to look sleepy but disturbed, as though in pain. I tried to open my mouth to speak but nothing but odd noises came out and then I lost consciousness. I was in the middle of an ischemic stroke. During my 5 days of coma I remember nothing until I began to come around. I remember feeling very peaceful and unafraid even though I had significant memory problems. I entered rehab for a grueling 6 weeks to recover whatever I could. My left side was paralyzed and I was in a wheelchair. After going home I had a physical therapist at the hosue several times a week for months. Over the course of the next year and a half, I went from a wheelchair to a walker and onto a quad cane and finally to a regular cane. I had to learn to feed and dress myself and finally maneuver stairs and on and on. I have 90% back. If I'm tired, I sometimes experience some residual effects like foot drop now and have to be cautious. I truly began to live more after that time. I noticed every bird, smelled every flower....it was as though my senses had been reborn. My faith came alive like never before! My friends and family meant more than words can say. Secondly, in February of 2002 I felt a small pea sized lump in my left breast. AFter a mamogram and then an ultrasound I was advised to have a biopsy. I opted for an excisional biopsy. This is where God is so very good...the lump was only a cyst but the real problem was invasive lobular cancer located near the chest wall directly below the cyst! It gave me chills at the time to realize I may never have known soon enough without that little benign cyst. I had a mastectomy and reconstruction. This event is what I still deal with today. At the time, I was in the process of losing my husband of 30 years to another woman. I remember thinking very little of the surgery, treatments, etc. because all I cared about was saving my marriage. Well, the marriage was eventually lost but I've had a real awakening about the loss of my breast and the cancer...all these years later because I've never dealt with it at all. It's so important to deal with one's deep feelings about such losses in any health matter to be able to heal and move forward. Five years later and I'm missing my breast for the first time really, crying in the mirror and all of that...rather a delayed response! But I know that will also change my life and strengthen me eventually. So much to learn in life!

Dancer
My surgeon was so unhappy that he had caused this...I felt that wheras I had the trauma he had to continue to exam people and he too was damaged by the mistake.I totally forgave him in fact did not for one moment feel wronged.That was when I knew how strong spritualy I was.The 17 days that I was ill was a steep learning curve.
There is more to this story...10 years later I had to have the same procedure..a differnt doctor.I did not tell the nurses about my earlier exam.The doctor I had knew and moved heaven and earth to help me.For five years I went each year and still have residue problems which will exist as long as I live.Apart from that I suffer pain from erosive arthritis but do my best.Thank you for asking.
I did not have a white light time..but a cross roads experience(motphine I think) where I chose to live when it would have been easier to give in.I had so much to live for.
Mountain ash

Ladyjane..thank you. I am totally humbled and overwhelmed by your story.. I can´t begin to imagine the strength you have. And I know that you didn´t write to get this kind of reponse..but I want to give it anyway...

Mountain Ash..all of you..the strength and persevernce of mankind..womankind..thank you.

Mountain Ash, I also felt the choice! I feel very badly for your pain and I work with the Chronic Pain Foundation. (American Pain Foundation.) Are you treated for the pain, Mountain? If not, you don't have to be in pain! Pain is so unhealthy for you in so many ways!
Are you in pain? Do you take something for it?

I'm sorry for your pain and I'm concerned. Please let me know if you live in pain?

Warm regards,
Dancer9