I should add that I am a middle sister and yes, I have one sister who cannot STAND me because of who I am and what I am. It has hurt all my life. She has told me it was jealousy but she cannot get past it. She is aware she cannot get past it and is honest about it. Does this help? No. I miss having a real sister who can be there for me. I have an older sister who is a "fan." She spends her time putting up the latest poster from a show of mine, or hanging my pictures when modeling on her work cubicle. It is sad and lonely. I don't know if I could have changed this but I doubt it. My mother had issues. My mother is a beautiful woman but lacks social interest. Only my grandmother who was a model all her life took interest in me and she was the only person to even do my hair in a style when I was a little girl! My mother would dress my sisters hair and leave mine as it was! It was hard. It is hard.
Early experiences should teach us things but I spent, and sometimes spend, my time trying to get those "sisters," to accept me but the "sisters," now are women I meet. If you understand this, you can understand why I sometimes devalue myself in situations to try to get others more comfortable with me.
It has hurt me and I shan't do it again....
thanks again, Orchid.
dancer9
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http://www.annalisanews.com/

"Question your privilege"