Hannelore,
Good luck with this. I have the experience of not being invited, along with my sisters, to my brother's wedding. We did not get along with my father who abused us to a level that is record, so they invited my father and not us. They only invited him and my stepmother and fell out with them shortly afterwards.
This has created a riff that has lasted years and years. My sister in law still does not respect us so we do not respect her. We are an Italian family, my father is first generation from Italy to Santa Barbara, Ca. We are a proud family and after that wedding, well...we just didn't care anymore and lost touch with our brother. My SIL could have reached out to us and made us part of their lives but said we intimidated her and cut us out at the wedding. It remains a problem. My sisters have not spoken to my brother in almost 20 years.

If you can solve this, I hope you do. It's not your fault but finding out the base problem might be important.

It was not until I saw my sister in law many years later that she confessed to being intimadated by us and so she cut us out. She was still intimadated by me, she told me and she never warmed up. Hopefully you can find the culprit and find the problem and solve it.
If you cannot, it is not your fault. Anymore than my SIL's feelings toward my sisters and I is my fault. We are not to blame for the small hearts of others. We can only forgive and go on.
Good luck, Hannelore. I'll keep you in my thoughts. You've mentioned you think your soon to be DIL might have something to do with this, follow your instincts. I can tell you are a loving woman.
dancer


Edited by dancer9 (10/13/07 06:54 PM)
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"Question your privilege"