Emyjay,
Hope you have flesh-n-blood support, like close friends or family to lean on. Your husband sounds the way mine acts, forget about affection. That isn't even in his vocabulary. Verbal expression isn't there either. But I went through one divorce; it was at Christmastime. Guess I'd rather live separately together, than separately apart. But either way, it's no fun. I pray you find healing and happiness!
Ciao girl...
_________________________
https://www.amazon.com/author/bonnie.mill-lemke
https://kdp.amazon.com/en_US/bookshelf