I love dogs, cows, horses and donkeys. I hate spiders and snakes!

And I hate divorce. Nobody wins, no matter who wins.
It's an outrageous loss!

Divorce doesn´t have to be about winning..but rather surviving..being able to breathe and live freely in the way that is important and good for you (or so you think)..maybe even being able to give your children the part of you that you think is important and perhaps helpful to give..don´t you think? We are human beings..sadly, in some instances perhaps we grow apart as a couple instead of together?

Yes, I am divorced after 32 yrs of marriage and 5 kids..going into my 8th year of being divorced now. I had to go..for my own sanity..the person I wanted to be and couldn´t in my marriage..sad but true. No, there was no violence or drinking problem or anything..just 2 people that had grown apart..developed in different ways..so perhaps sometimes it is a necessity that can actually give room for personal developement?

Yes humlan, absolutely yes. Make room for that personal development. Some people become stagnant in marriage and it's so sad to witness.

One of the smartest observations I have ever heard Humlan. You've got the right idea...

You're right! I'm wrong! It's been 29 years since my first husband and I divorced. I guess part of me never got over it! I'm a sap! What can I say?

In hindsight, I like to say that both of us are correct.
I'm saying, "If you lose someone you love, nobody wins." From that context, my statement is a truism. But I understand what you're saying too, humlan.

Jabber, you are not a sap! Loss is loss and sometimes we never get over it, it may settle to the bottom of our emotions but is always there. I can smell a smell, or hear a song and begin to cry like a baby for losses of nearly 40 years ago... So I guess I fit into the SAP catagory as well.

Count me in as a sap too.

I can't believe the way some seemingly totally unconnected "thing" can ripple my thoughts all the way back to Gary, or Mom...poor hubby cannot understand how driving by the most insignificant places can reduce me to a sobbing mess in the car. I might see a sign in the window, or an object on the grass, or something totally unrelated to the end thought...these things will somehow make me think of something else, which then leads me to another thought, then another thought, until finally it leads back to a specific (but unrelated to the original "thing" that triggered me!) memory of Gary - and I just start sobbing. SAP? Count me in big-time!!!