It scares the beegebbies out of me. To be as my kid sister was, totally helpless and dependent on others. I would rather be dead and I mean that sincerely. To think of being a burden, and don't kid yourself thats just what it is, even when someone loves us, well I don't think I could endure that, and wouldn't want to be remembered that way.

I don't think I can predict how I would feel. If I could not take care of myself, was afraid of falling or injuring myself and my greatest fear was that of not getting help, I might want to go to an assisted living apartment, but not a nursing home -- well, I'm picturing those in the past.

Hannelore, my family got together yesterday to celebrate my birthday and my daughter-in-laws, as well. All of us noticed that my mother could not or was afraid to walk along the pier with us. My mother-in-law did'nt want to walk, either. We all had a "light bulb moment."

So, as much as I am able to, I can emphathize with your current situation. I believe that your wonderful sense of humor will help with this life transition.

JawJaw, I loved that picture and the whole idea of vacationing together!

Blessings to all,
Emily

Yesterday I felt overwhelmed. Grandbaby hanging on to one hand, pretending she's bunji jumping (the rope being my arm), and my Mom hanging onto my other arm, leaning her entire weight on my elbow. This is when I wish I had sisters. JJ you are soooo lucky.

I've told my son …make sure you have at least two children so they can share when it's time to take care of you. Oh well, big help that is for me;…my brother living over seas.

He is planning to come to Germany, end of September for two weeks, to take a load off my shoulders. So Mom is now sulking and saying she wants us to do everything together as a family. Hubby will not like that. On one hand, I do think it is great to do things together with my brother and Mom, on the other hand, Hubby says now we have an opportunity to do something for ourselves and grandbaby. I tend to agree with my mother, it is wonderful when family gets together…but I can understand Hubby too.

I can't win.

I wish your hubby would understand that your mother will not be around for a whole lot longer.

However maybe you can swing something when son comes over to help...

would I like being cared for...well, admittedly if I was quite disabled, I wouldn't mind a family member to assist in some basic stuff.

I guess for those of us who are childless, we know that we cannot imagine having someone younger from our family to visit us in nursing home, etc.

But it probably would be a lovely thing that there was someone who knew me well and cared enough to visit me occasionally. Every hermit wants some general companionship.

Wow JJ...I can't imagine how crazy it must have been growing up with all of your girls...fun and loving and joyful and so many hormones...whoa. How wonderful for your mom to have this time with her daughters...I'm so glad ya'll did this and you'll have this wonderful memory forever and ever.

I am waiting to read an article written by the queen about her week away with Mom and the girls. I bet it will be a hoot.

Hannelore, I recall when Mom was sick and dying of cancer. She had Dad and four of her kids in town who tended to her every need because we wanted to. But I've got to tell you, when our youngest sister arrived from out of town, all us locals breathed a sigh of relief because we knew she'd be moving in with Mom and Dad and we'd all get a little break. Take advantage of your brother when he's around. I hope you understand what I mean by take advantage...just let him do the caregiving for a change. It also will allow him to get a true picture of how Mom is doing.

Hannelore...bless you heart. I'm sending my hug angels to Germany again...are they there yet?

Hannelore, coming back to this topic, I just feel for you. I hope you have a good support system of friends over there, you know you have them here. Trust me, there will be times you will need a break. I don't care how who it is or how much you love them, taking care of an elderly relative or terminally ill, it wears on you emotionally, physically, and financially, it can take a huge toll on a marriage and family.
I am glad that we were here to take care of my husband's parents, but there were days I would just break down from complete physical and emotional exhaustion. At one point, it took a toll on my health, I was literally sick for six months, my doctor said I had to take a break, I called the
others out of town and at that point they all agreed that once a month one of them would come down, they would take turns, each try to stay at least a week to give us a break.
That was a huge relief. So, Hannelore, take care of yourself so that you can take care of others. I know it's hard, but I know personally, in spite of how hard it was sometimes, it was also rewarding in a way, I learned a lot.
One thing I learned about the elderly that so many don't realize, they need company, human contact. So many are in assisted living and nursing facilities and rarely see their families and a lot of their friends end up distancing themselves from the situation. I know that happened with my in-laws, I can only remember 2 people from their church who were faithful to the end and came to see them on a regular basis, and helped when they could. It's very sad.
Okay, sorry to ramble, this topic really hits home with me.

Gerribeck thank you for your understanding. I find the more I do for my Mom the more she needs me. I think that is typical for older people. In German they would say it's like a barrel without a bottom.

Last night I couldn't sleep. So many things were going through my head. My Mom has been asking me to do more things with her; and this after I spent an entire day from 9:00 AM to 8:00 PM driving her around to lakes and mountains. I have found a lady to help me out, but she's on vacation till September. Then of course our 18 month old grandbaby is living with us. I still have my real-estate business, which is still running, but has been cut to about 50% since I just don't have the time. And last but not least, I have to make sure Hubby doesn't feel neglected.

Honestly, the only thing I do for myself is chat with you ladies. Forget painting, reading or writing...that's all on a backburner. Sometimes I have problems coming to terms with that, and instead of getting the sleep I so direly need, I can't sleep, and mull over everything. It feels good to know that so many of you have gone through this and survived. Thankyou so much for your support and good wishes.

Ditto that!