Kay,
I have to take my mom to the hospital for an angiogram. Her circulation is terrible to her legs, at 81 I'm not sure what they're going to do. Dad is in a great assisted living place, but he hates it and suggested he live with Me. That can't happen because of a number of issues, but it is really hard being an only child and watching my parents both deteriorate. Just have to keep a good sense of humor and a good bottle of Jack Daniels! All the best!
Raven West

Kay, your mention of young and adorable made me laugh. They're all seeming to be young these days. I wonder if that means we're getting older...

Kay, You and your family are in my prayers. You sure sound like a very strong, intelligent and caring person. Please do balance out your day and make sure there is time for Kay!!!!

Hello Everyone! I'm new here and I am very excited to have found this forum! I am the oldest of three but some times I feel alone when it comes to my parents. Anyway, I have a question for Kay. What nursing home are you referring to? Right now I am doing research on Nursing Homes for my Mom. She suffers from alzheimers and lives with my Dad in the Bronx, NY and gets 8-hour care daily from a medicaid health aide. My Dad's health is getting worse and the stress is getting too much for him. I live in Queens, NY near the Long Island border. I am considering having Mom near me but I just don't want to place her anywhere and would love to hear any recommendations from someone who has been there.
Thank you all! =o)

I am going to PM you with a site I used to check out other choices JUST IN CASE....

I would have went and visited more sights if needed...Make sure you also speak with visitors--
they are the best source of info on the facilities!

JustME, do pop in visits before you decide on a place.

Also see what lies ahead financially when your mom needs more care. SOme places are reasonable until you need more care. Then you have to pay for every little visit to the room (it seems).

Thanks for the tip!

Just Me... also ask the workers there if you can. Not just one of them either. Ask ones on different wings and ones that work in different areas. Sometimes they are reluctant to talk, but sometimes you can find one that will spill the beans. Course you have to take into account that a worker may make it sound too good, or too bad, depending on THEIR own experience as an employee there. Check out the Better Business Bureaus too and see if there have been any complaints filed against the homes.

If you can make you "drop in" visits be at different shifts, all the better. Sometimes you see different things "happening" at night than you would during the day when the largest amount of supervisors are around. Usually the night shift keeps a minimum. At least this was my experience.

JJ

And use your nose. If it smells bad, it probably is.

smile

One other thing that suddenly came to me is that I couldn't help but notice how the nurses and assistants would respond to the dementia patients. In the VA home my Dad was in, most of them would respond with care and love in their voices and this was reassuring to me. And they wouldn't necessarily SEE me watching or listening either. So if you can, open your ears to the conversations going on around you while you visit and pay close attention to the "tone" of their voices when communicating with the patients.

JJ