Hello everyone!
I haven't been around for awhile due to afew reasons....personal funk state of mind mostly!!!
Just when I thought it couldn't get worse...my mom fell out of bed & broke her hip!!!!
She is scheduled for surgery today. I just got back from signing the consent forms--and will go back tonight. She was zonked out of morphine & sleeping.
I will speak to the surgeon tomorrow--if he doesn't call today. I have no idea what the recovery is going to entail.......here's hoping for the best....but expecting the worst!!! If mom has to go to a nursing facility, I am going to contact the one she has already been at. I am willing to pay to hold a bed for her if needed!!!
We'll deal with that when the time comes.
My brother is going to come out when I tell him to get here!!! We're waiting to see how everything plays out--my husband is on vacation next week.....so we will have him to help me mentally! I may wait to have my brother come out when mom comes home from the hospital. Time will tell!!!
Just needed to vent......check in......and try to relax!!!! At least I know the hospital mom is at is decent---it's the best she's been at yet!!!\
And they valet park....no worries there about NO PARKING AVAILABLE!!! How come hospitals never have enough parking?!!!!!

Kay...sorry to hear about your mom's fall and hip.
Hope you find some time to rest and rejuvenate your body and mind.
One step at a time, sounds like your headed in the right direction with your planning.
Prayers sent to you both.

Kay, sorry to hear about your mom. Make sure they get her up and moving. Immobility is the worse thing for her after her surgery. Sneding warm thoughts and prayers your way. Check your PM's.

Kay,

I'm sorry to hear about your Mom's broken hip. We went through this surgery with my dad, and it wasn't easy.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

I've already made a call to the nursing home we want my mom to go to for aftercare. The man in charge is going to the hospital tomorrow to speak with social services & make arrangements. WE TOOK THIS MATTER INTO OUR OWN HANDS BECAUSE I WASN'T
SETTLING FOR ANY OTHER PLACEMENT FOR MY MOM!!!

Thanks for everyone's kind words!!!
Will be checking in again!!!

Good for you...you've got a plan and sticking to it. Sounds as if, it's coming off without a hitch.

Kay B, you and your mom will be remembered in many of our prayers tonight. I hope all goes well for her and lady, I like your style!!!

Kay, so sorry to hear this. It is more stressful taking care of parents than kids. There's a sadness to it that adds to the stress. Please take care of yourself!

I agree with your confusion about not having enough parking at ANY hospital! Good that you're keeping your sense of humor.

I "heard" my mom has a secured bed at our first choice...will call tomorrow to verify. The SW had to speak in code when someone walked into the room!!!
I saw another center today & it's on the list. Very nice!!! I have to choose 3 centers & they send her to the first available bed. The center I saw today said they'd have one next week too--it just freaks me out because I always worry about nothing......and I'm a walking poster child for Murphy's Law!!!

MOM IS OK BY THE WAY!!!!! HAD THE LESSER OF THE TWO EVILS DONE.....AND IS ALREADY BEING GIVEN THERAPY. She only sat at the edge of the bed today--and tomorrow they will pursue further. OF COURSE THE THERAPIST WAS YOUNG AND ADORIBLE!!

Kay,

That is such good news about your Mom!

I think we all worry about things that turn out to be nothing sometimes. No need to apologize for that. Better to plan ahead and be prepared the way you did than to wait for Murphy's Law. It likes to catch up with me, too.

Kay,
I have to take my mom to the hospital for an angiogram. Her circulation is terrible to her legs, at 81 I'm not sure what they're going to do. Dad is in a great assisted living place, but he hates it and suggested he live with Me. That can't happen because of a number of issues, but it is really hard being an only child and watching my parents both deteriorate. Just have to keep a good sense of humor and a good bottle of Jack Daniels! All the best!
Raven West

Kay, your mention of young and adorable made me laugh. They're all seeming to be young these days. I wonder if that means we're getting older...

Kay, You and your family are in my prayers. You sure sound like a very strong, intelligent and caring person. Please do balance out your day and make sure there is time for Kay!!!!

Hello Everyone! I'm new here and I am very excited to have found this forum! I am the oldest of three but some times I feel alone when it comes to my parents. Anyway, I have a question for Kay. What nursing home are you referring to? Right now I am doing research on Nursing Homes for my Mom. She suffers from alzheimers and lives with my Dad in the Bronx, NY and gets 8-hour care daily from a medicaid health aide. My Dad's health is getting worse and the stress is getting too much for him. I live in Queens, NY near the Long Island border. I am considering having Mom near me but I just don't want to place her anywhere and would love to hear any recommendations from someone who has been there.
Thank you all! =o)

I am going to PM you with a site I used to check out other choices JUST IN CASE....

I would have went and visited more sights if needed...Make sure you also speak with visitors--
they are the best source of info on the facilities!

JustME, do pop in visits before you decide on a place.

Also see what lies ahead financially when your mom needs more care. SOme places are reasonable until you need more care. Then you have to pay for every little visit to the room (it seems).

Thanks for the tip!

Just Me... also ask the workers there if you can. Not just one of them either. Ask ones on different wings and ones that work in different areas. Sometimes they are reluctant to talk, but sometimes you can find one that will spill the beans. Course you have to take into account that a worker may make it sound too good, or too bad, depending on THEIR own experience as an employee there. Check out the Better Business Bureaus too and see if there have been any complaints filed against the homes.

If you can make you "drop in" visits be at different shifts, all the better. Sometimes you see different things "happening" at night than you would during the day when the largest amount of supervisors are around. Usually the night shift keeps a minimum. At least this was my experience.

JJ

And use your nose. If it smells bad, it probably is.

smile

One other thing that suddenly came to me is that I couldn't help but notice how the nurses and assistants would respond to the dementia patients. In the VA home my Dad was in, most of them would respond with care and love in their voices and this was reassuring to me. And they wouldn't necessarily SEE me watching or listening either. So if you can, open your ears to the conversations going on around you while you visit and pay close attention to the "tone" of their voices when communicating with the patients.

JJ

My mom spent 3 weeks in a rehab facility recently and had nothing but complaints about the employees there. Now, I didn't notice anything wrong while visiting and I couldn't take my mom very seriously since she finds fault with almost everything. As much of a sweetheart as she is, she is very demanding. On the other side, my son, a professional in the medical field, worked in a facility and gave us the side of the employees. So, there are good and bad everywhere. Just be wide-minded and use good judgment.

Scorpio, when we get on our high horses and trash these eldercare places, I always feel badly for the people in the meidcal profession who go above and beyond the call of duty. I know some, but they still get thrown in with all the negativity. Kinda sad.

At the Nursing Home I frequent I have never seen or heard anything negative. The residents all seem happy and well cared for as much as can be expected. I am sometimes there in the early AM to prepare food for one thing or another and even the night shift is cordial and accomodating and I (as you know) am not a person that miss's much, tee-hee!!! This may not be the norm however and I know that too.

Just checking in!!!
My mom is coming along slowly. She is healing fine where her hip is concerned. She's getting more PT & OT.....and seems to be chugging along now.
I am hoping we'll know when she can possibly come home after her next doctors appointment 3/9. I sure hope it's soon afterwards!!!! I can't take it anymore!!!
I'm totally stressed out!!! My mom gets upset & agitated at night n' it kills me!!! I have left that place crying more times than not...plus her roommate is a real PITA!!!! Luckily she's going home this week!!!! All I can say is....YESSSSS!!!
I don't have the time right now to bllllleeeeep about her!!!!
Gotta relax abit before we go back tonight....

Good news, Kay! To God be the glory.

Kay, you are so right to find the home you want. We are blessed, in my area (North Dakota) to have many good facilities, but I knew what I wanted for my parents, and worked hard to get them there. Keep up the good work - and faith. Don't forget that you need care, too.